trip to the beach

unpredicted crush..

There's a lot of pretty girls in my class, 4A..ranging from malays to chinese. But there is this girl, whom i prefer, than the rest. She's really a lady. I mean, soft and soothing voice.. never heard her scream out of anger. If she is angered by something or someone, she wouldn't vent it on anyone. Not to forget, she's sweet, fair, and pretty too.. But damn, she's different from me. She's of a different religion. If i'm not wrong, she's a christian. But it doesn't matter, a crush will always remain a crush. As a matter of fact, i have a crush on her. But i just don't want to go any further. Things might get worse, especially our friendship. Well, i managed to take a pic with her on prom night. That was the only day i could be a playboy, haha..


* This is me and her..
If you want to see her full picture, click this link: http://usera.imagecave.com/Suhaimi/meandpetrina-copy.jpg

lonely..

I have no idea why but frankly, i'm becoming more emotional by the days. I've become vulnerable and sensitive. By saying sensitive, it doesn't mean that i'll cry if someone calls me ugly. What i meant is, films these days are sad ones and whenever i watch em', i'm emotionally affected. I would burst into tears but i won't inhale too deep. Reason, if i inhale too deep as if i have flu, my family would know that i'm crying and that would be embarrassing. So i try damn hard not to make any signs. Alright, let's get to the point. I'm so lonely, man. I accept the fact that people whom i loved(not family) have left me. It was either my fault or theirs but i didn't really mind. I admit that i spend most of the time of my life thinking of her. My friends advised me to just forget her. I told them i will. Why is it that the more i try to forget someone, the more frequent will that particular person appear in my dreams? Even if they appear in my dreams a million times, what will it do? Yes, my feelings for them will grow. But if i approach them, will they give me a chance? Doubts, i have doubts about it. Sigh..i'm emotionally deranged, man. Why can't we be friends? I hope your hatred for me will slowly fade away in time..

"Hope you'll stay the same cause there's nothing bout' you i would change." This quote really means a lot to me. I've been saying this to myself. Hoping that the person whom i really adores would not change. As a matter of fact, she did. Her feelings towards me changed. Let's not go around the bushes. The girl i'm referring to is Wajihah. She's a joyful person, always smiles and never failed to make me smile as well. But as soon as our friendship ends, she just refused to be my friend again.. I used to cherish feelings for her but i'm not sure if she had. But my intentions: I just wanna be her friend. Reason is, it feels great to be her friend. Before i began to develop feelings for her, it was already fun to talk to her as pals, and i just couldn't stop talking to her. I guess i was the cause of the confiscation of her phone( free sms had exceeded ). I seriously felt bad about it, wish i could turn back time. Point is, she's a good friend, really good friend. Unfortunately, it didn't turn out well. It was only for a moment. Now, she refuses to talk to me. Sigh. I've lost one good pal.

just a lil light on the darkness..

It's not what it seems right now. Everything is going to topple and become upside-down. I have no intention to offend anyone but as a muslim myself, i would like to bring upon this matter. It's optional for female muslims to wear the scarf over their heads but most parents would want their children to wear it. Okay, let's get to the point here. They wear the head scarf and they still do those criticized stuff such as sitting at the void deck with the opposite gender hugging, etc. Directly, they are tarnishing the true meaning of Islam. At the same time, there are terror acts going on in this world and Islam's reputation is already been tarnished. Islam does not teach people to use violence and those terrorists try to poison those people with weak religious knowledge. It's already enough for what's happening outside of singapore. But what's going on inside singapore is truly outrageous. Muslims are going out of hands in this country. My point is, i don't want the non-muslims to think the otherwise of us.

Flashback

This flashback is about a 14-year-old girl whom i met her by coincidence at the auditorium during WSI second round last year. I was sitting at the row behind hers and at the same time, she's my friend's sister. I kinda liked her when i saw her. So i wanted to get to know her better. I got part of the help from my friend's sister's friend. I began to talk to the 14-year-old girl. We became friends, and then closer. As love blossoms, i began to feel ultimately happy being with her. A bad incident occured, her handphone was confiscated(often happens) and we lost contact. I tried to get through her but couldn't. So i sought help from her friend and she said that it seemed that i had a lot of chances to meet her but she was avoiding it. She then dropped me an email saying that it's over between us. In that email, she said that i was the cause of the bad relation between she and her friends. I was just seeking help. Where can i get help? Her friends, of course. I assure you that your friends were exaggerating. I did not ask them out of desperation. I just wanted an answer from your own mouth, your own voice. What's so difficult about that? Indeed you wouldn't believe what i said because your friends have been with you longer than i have. But it doesn't matter right now. My mum once told me, don't brag around if the girl that i admire doesn't like you. It's best if i accept her decision and back off. Frankly, i do miss her sometimes. I was so happy talking to her. I've never laughed so hard before until i sms her or chat on the net. It's been weeks or shall i say months, since i last communicated with her. But things happen yeah? Life has to go on, it seems.

An Unexpected Dream

I'm meant to forget about her already. She still won't give me the answers to my unanswered questions. She still hasn't tell me why she did that to me. She just refused to set my mind at ease. So i took the initiative to forget her, struggling.. But, these few days, i dreamt of her. But why now? Why when i'm in the midst of forgetting her? Does that mean that we're bound to be together again or is it just an unexplained theory or mystery? I don't know what it means but i'll just wait for the results.

Prom Night On 27 Nov..

I know four days have passed since the Prom Night. I ought to be posting earlier but i didn't. Prom Night had been a memorable one for me, frankly. Out of the blue, i began to feel sober.
Seeing my friends from 4A especially, seemed as if we're parting. I never wanted that to happen. Their my friends, the best friends..i've realised that losing your friends is far more disastrous than losing your girlfriend. I don't wanna lose them. I almost cried, man.. Somehow i believe that we will continue to keep in touch with one another, perhaps a class reunion every year in WSSS..haha.. That would be great.

Well, on that day, i met up with my malay friends: Ali, Faiz, Farid and Zul. Ibro wasn't with us cuz he went with Johnny. We met at the bus stop near my block, and we took bus 190. We missed our stop and had to walk a long way. Haha.. I felt uneasy cuz as we were walking, people stared at us as though we're MAFIA members..with our coat and blazers, all looking smart. We sort of got lost, and Ali took the initiative to ask a guard. We walked and walked until we saw Albert and Kenny at the entrance. They were waiting for someone. We shaked their hands and proceeded in. Thought it was gonna be open space but turned to be in an air-conditioned room. It's on the second floor but we went to the gents first.





Haha..we took some boyband pics in the toilet.. Insane but it's only once in a while. Then we went up to sign in. 3 ladies from the council would tell us which table serves halal and non-halal foods. In other words, we can sit with whoever we want to as long as we're sitting on the correct tables. We had to wait for an hour or so before the whole event started cuz some hadn't arrived yet.

(TO BE CONTINUED)..

SYFC application...

S.Y.F.C stands for
S'pore Youth Flying Club.
It has always been my dream
to become a pilot either
in RSAF or commercial.
Whatever it is, i'm willing
to fly for my country and
would do whatever it takes
to become one.
You see, I ringed SYFC and
asked for the application form.
I was asked my name and
everything else about my
particulars. I was supposed
to wait for the mail to arrive.
I waited for 2 days..and it
seemed that my dream
would never come true.
Just today, me n my family
went out to buy my
PROM clothes, my sis's
birthday present: MP3,
and my bro's new phone.
I bought some clothes which
are pretty awesome..thanks to
my parents.
Good that my sis has finally gotten
her mp3. Unfortunately, my bro
didn't buy his phone due to
lack of stocks.
It was unexpected..seriously.
When i reached home, i
opened the mailbox and saw
a brown, A4 sized package.
It had my name and address
written on it. My heart was
thumping really fast.
I opened it in the lift in the
presence of my family and
POOF!!!
It was the SYFC application form.
I was too agitated..
But i still have to undergo
several tests incl. medical, etc.
I'm pretty anxious about it.
Please wish me all the best..
I hope i'll be accepted..
God willing.. =)

..end of exam

Today was my last
paper: Dnt
I was quite happy
when we were
dismissed but
it was only
momentarily.
What's going on
with my heart
can't be healed
just with the ending
of exams..
I strongly believe
that as time passes
by, it will be over..
After my O's, i'm
gonna pull horns
outta my head..haha..
No more Mr. nice guy.
Those who mess with me,
will be dealt with..(violence)
Nah..just kidding..
I'm gonna go jamming
this week and next wk.
The whole of december
i am not sure..
Angelo is leaving for Dubai
and Darryl to China.
There'll be class chalet
in december..
I hope my results turn
out to be good..
that's all..i'm out..

it's time i walk away..

I've always loved her..
A..L..W..A..Y..S
It's something
unpredictable..
But in the end it's right.
I hope you had
the time of your life.
The times i spent
with you were the
time of my life..
the happiest, the
most cheerful,
the saddest,
all jumble up into
one emotion:
HAPPINESS..hehe.
sometimes i ask myself
this question:
Why must our relationship
end up this way?
I could at least expect
a 'goodbye'..
but she left stranded
in matter of minutes,
or hours i think..
She should at least
explain to me that she
had to leave me..but
she didn't.
that really escalated
my frustration..
soon i realised that
it was useless getting
angry and dropped it.
But i can't forget you
so easily..I have no idea.
Getting to know you
is like meeting
the fairy of my dreams..
hmm..fairy? No way..
Maybe princess...
Whatever it is, i prayed
to God that this would
last for a very long time..
eternal....
But i was proven wrong.
With you gone and not
being by my side,
i'm stranded just like
a poor man stranded on
an island enclosed with
tall trees and dense
forests...ALONE..
I hope somebody really
rescue me from this island.
Everything that has a
beginning, has an end..
Of course i know that..
but i didn't predict it
would turn out and end
this way...
Anyway, this experience
really taught me a
lesson that is worthwhile.
..it's time i walk away from
you..your life..
this is the very one thing
i despise...but
what to do?..
just like the malay proverb,
" Nasi sudah menjadi bubur."

..Blk 276

Blk 276 is known
for its splendid peace.
I used to dread when
i come to this block
cuz it seems to be
isolated from the
rest in Bangkit..
I got it over with
in a matter of time.
It really sets my mind
at ease whenever i
sit alone at the void
deck around 9 plus
at night..
It IS dark, gives me
the goosebumps..
But if u just sit there
to relieve your stress,
to witness the cool air..
you will definitely forget
about ghosts momentarily.
I've learnt to appreciate
what this blk that i'm
living at have..
HOWEVER...
this place is not for
hanky-pankies..
I know this place
is apt for such things
at night as it's quiet
and there's nobody
else to disturb you.
But i resent it when
i see people kissing
and hugging at the void
deck..
They are trying to destroy
the positive factor
of this block.
Sigh..why can't they just
find some other place
except Bangkit?..

I still...

I Still - Backstreet Boys
I really admire this song.
especially its lyrics..
It resembles most of
the parts of my life.
Upon hearing this song,
it reminds me of u, iha..
I've tried my best..
but the bond between
me n u is just too extremely
strong..
I've been believing...
that after my O levels,
i might succeed..
What is it that makes u
do this to me?
I've realised my mistakes..
(Haiz...)

..my pathetic prelim grades

Here are the results
of my prelim...

English - C5
Malay - A2
Maths - B3
Physics - B3
Chemistry - B3
C.Humanities - C5
Geography - B3
D&T - B3

I know people would
think I'm insane
displaying my grades
when i'm not performing
very well..
Nevertheless, I have no fear
or shame in doing so because
i'll try my very best to
scrap that grades of my cert.

For subjects like maths,
physics and D&T,
I should have gotten
at least an 'A' grade
because i'm quite fond
of those subjects.
Ironically, it turned out
otherwise.
Of course i was vexed
and disappointed too..
With my current grades,
there is certainly nowhere
i can go for the 3-month course.

What i fear the most is
english and chemistry.
We may think english is
an easy subject as we
speak english almost
everyday..
But it is really difficult, man..
After attending some english
courses, I'm more confident
of myself.
Memorisation is required
for chemistry. You have
to memorize numerous
information, facts, etc.
I hope i'm able to get at
least 3/4 of the chemistry
syllabus on the tip of my
fingertips..

One-sided love...fading for good..

Few months have passed..
have tried my best to
get her back but..
no progress...
This one-sided love isn't
worthwhile..
So i've decided to let u go..
I'm sorry, but i just can't
let this matter bring me
down...
Besides, i also know that
you want me to forget
abt u..so that i wun be
able to disturb u anymore.
It's being hard for me
but with the help of
my friends and teachers,
they have convinced me
that studies my first priority
in life..
I've realised that there's no
life without proper, and high
qualifications..
What we've been thru
all along, will just
be my sweet memory..
I'm sure you'll be happy.
So good luck in everything
you do ya?
That's all about it.

you...

Each moment of my life,
i think of her..
never fail...
I just don't know why
i'm so devoted to her.
She's the perfect girl
in my eyes..
I tried to evade that,
but it's a fact.
It's like, she's born to
be loved by people.
It's one hell of a chance
in a lifetime..
Things were working
out very well and it was
a straight, slight bumpy road.
Suddenly, appeared a lot of
high mountains..
i'm not sure whether it's
me or her that did not
manage to climb.
Why must this happen?
There's a thick pane of
glass that acts as a barrier
between me and her now..
All means i've tried to get
myself over to her,
no avail..
and i'm still trying..
i think i made a stupid
mistake back then,
which i have no idea what.
I still need you, girl..
I still care for u..
Do you?
I still love u so much..
really very much..
it's genuine..
Do you?
(..Sigh...)
i just hope to be
together with u again..
i wonder when that
day will arrive..

Arghh!!!!

I've been trying very
hard but it's so
impossible for me to
forget u, wajihah...
Those moments were
too happy for me
to forget...

i'm going on...

I would like to personally
thank my friend, Jacintha
for she's always there for
me in times of problems..
In fact, i already did..
She has enlightened me with
something that is difficult for
me to face..
She didn't really solve it
for me..she just reduce my
burden..i'm feeling quite ok
right now, resuming my
usual daily activities...
I'm going to put all my effort
in my studies...
I have to reset my mind and
instead of good, i'll set it to
'love is evil at this age..'
Hmm..that is a great idea,
it seems..
I can't get it over with in
a split second but i'll do
it slowly..
I'm back to my laughter...
Haha...

journey to be a pilot..

I've checked the RSAF site
few days ago..
I searched for every information
i wish to know..
I found the requirements
to be a pilot of the army..
One need to have a full
GCE 0 level and A level
certificate, and passes in
English, Maths and Physics..
I'm currently concentrating
on this 3 subjects..
I'm improving in maths,
my consistent grade is
A2 or A1 and of course
i'm aiming for A1..
My physics grade was good
initially but due to some
personal problems, i couldn't
cope and my grades dropped..
Now, i'm striving to 'up' my
grade to A1..
My dream means so much to me..
I can't sacrifice it for some
other unnecessary things..
I've set a goal..which is to put
everything aside and also,
after her birthday which is on
28th August, i'm never gonna use
the com until end of december..
i'll try my best..

Girls= Evil

Today, during english
lesson...our english
teacher, Mrs Ang,
asked our opinions
about this following
statement...
"Money is the root of
all evil.."
My friend came out with
something but he did
not tell the teacher about it
for he's afraid it might
offend the opposite gender..
Here it is:
Girls = money x time
Since time is money,
therefore:
Girls = money x money
= (money)^2
Since money is evil..
Hence, he concluded that:
Girls = Evil...
What is your opinion
about this??
Btw, no intention to
offend here...

...

I observed that she has been
running away...
I dunno why..but..
why run away or avoid someone
if that person isn't even
looking for you?
It doesn't make sense..
It's pretty hard to tell
my friends that our
relationship is nothing now.
cuz they will nvr believe me.
So if they see u, running away
the moment i'm within your range,
they'll laugh..
I'll be looking down on the floor
as i walk for i'm embarrassed.
Please, if u must, don't turn
yourself into a laughing stock..
I bear no grudge against u..when
i see u, and u see me,
i'm not, what u say it in malay,
"jeling"...
i'm just changing the direction
of where i'm looking...
cuz it makes me sad looking at u.
Have u ever cherished a relationship,
besides ur friendship?
And i know, a girl of 14yrs,
it's not really the time to
get into a relationship...
Also, you aren't matured enough..
though u look as though u are.
Hence, i'll treat this relationship
as puppy love..cuz one party
did not regard it seriously.
I hope one day, when you've
grown big, you'll understand
what is true love...whereby
no matter how bad times are,
both parties will still struggle
and strive to maintain and
keep the relationship going.
Btw, i really learned alot
from u...thanks alot ya??

a story of a cow...

In this story, the main character
is a cow...this story started since
2003 and it still continuing.
This cow has been walking along the
straight, narrow road..
There wasn't any ulterior
motive then.
As it walked, it suddenly saw
grassland...
It seemed to be so green that
they brightened up the cow's day.
The cow was also happy...
Then one day, the grass seemed
to taste different..
The cow was unhappy and left the
grass..
The grass kept growing but the
cow didn't realise.
It continued it's journey..
One day, the cow saw a
wheatfield which was quite greeny.
It began to eat the wheat...
The wheat grows, the cow eats..
Both were very happy.
It all happened so sudden..
and then in one swift...
the wheat refused to grow..
The cow waited and waited..
even wondering why the wheat
did not grow.
The day arrived when the wheat
proved that it didn't want
to grow for the cow to eat..
The cow was hurt, it was like
the samurai sword slashing
it's heart.
The cow now doesn't know what
to do..it's all alone..
It tried to confront the wheat
but the wheat did not even
say anything...
The cow felt remorsed for what
it has done to the grass..
It left the grass uneaten...let
rain pour on it instead of love..
In this never-ending journey,
the cow learns something...but
the cow did not even know what
it has learned...
It wishes to turn back but it's
too guilty for him....
He's sorry for what had
happened...

missin' you..

It's been a few months
since i last saw her.
I hardly see her now.
I just dunno, whether
she's running away frm me
or is it otherwise..
I've been separated from
her for too long a time.
I dunno if i'm still in her heart.
I can't bear being teased
by my friends but i just
tolerated cuz i din wana
ruin my friendships with them.
But hearing her name, her
face projected right in front
of me.
And all the sweet memories
we had together flashed
back vividly.
i've been sick these few days.
But i din wana express it to
my fellow frens cuz they
will feel bad abt it.
There are a thousand adjectives
of sorrows and pain in my smiles.
Imagine if she were to say that
she wants us to go our
separate ways.
I wonder what will my reactions be.
She's riveted in my heart.
It's so hard to remove it.
It's gonna take alot of
pain and sufferings.
I wana live my life with her.
But sometimes i've been thinking
if it is possible.
She just doesn't know if
i'm true to her.
She still doesn't realise it
after all i've done for her.
She thinks i'm just lusting.
Frankly, i'm not.
I've been serious all along
about this.
It took me a long time to
reach your heart.
I eliminated all the obstructions.
And finally, i reached my
destination.
I was so relieved when i
successfully confessed my
love to u.
And you made very happy
by replying the same.
That was the happiest
moments in my life...
Do you ever notice that
my life has cheered up,
my life has become brighter
with you by my side.
I didn't have the courage to
express it when i'm with you,
side by side.
Ever since the terrible thing
happened, my happiness was
snatched away.
I assume yours were snatched
away too rite?
I, myself didn't believe that
i've hurt u.
I didn't expect your friends
to tell you everything i told
them and i don't accuse them
of that.
(Sigh...)
You understand me the most.
Please don't tell me now you don't.

fading to nothing..

i'm not trying to
be crappy or
pessimists or paranoid
here..but based on
what i've gone thru,
soon after, we'll be
nothing to each other.
Question is, are u going
to accept that fact?
What are going to
do about it?
Just let it be?
The answers are all
in your heart..
It has always been u
in my mind n in my heart.
I don't wish to change that
unnecessarily.
But what about u?
What's in ur mind and heart?

disappointed..

I couldn't believe it..
When i asked u, sarcastically,
"What do u think is happening
in our relationship?"
And you said, "Erm..nth."
I mean, how could you say that?
It's so obvious that we din
get to interact with each other
often.
And you gave me an ans
as though you didn't care.
I'm ultimately disappointed,
not with you, but myself.
Cuz i didn't shower you with
enough love, perhaps.
As days pass by, my sufferings
become unbearable.
No one knows abt this, more than
i do.
That's why people think that i'm
not having problems cuz
i din express it in my
facial expression.
But this is where i express it,
all of them.
I'm reli suffering..i need someone
who could end this.
And the person who WILL end it,
is the person who caused it.
I'm not accusing u that u
started all this.
Only YOU can make me feel happy
once again..only you.
Only You can bring back the warmth
that has long been gone.
Please, i'm begging you...

why must u do this to me..

I'm reli hurt to know
that we actually had
alot of chance to meet
and talk things out.
U gave ur excuses.
U ignored me,
u avoid me...
Izit bcuz u already have
someone else? whom you'll
be most happy with.
If u do, i'll be very happy
for u but the pain will
take yrs to kill it.
Why must u do this to me?
Without reasons...
I did whatever i could to be
in contact with u.
But u just pretend as if
nothing happens.
This question is for u..
do u still wana continue
this relationship of ours?
Give me your ans the moment
u read this post.
Don't keep me waiting, cuz
it would reli make me damn angry,
aft everything you've done..!!

PORTUGAL WON !!!

My favourite team in
the world cup is
Portugal.
I've been supporting
Portugal since
Christiano Ronaldo
joined Man United and
has been playing in the
1st 11 for Portugal.
Last nite, Portugal
compete with England
to go to the semi-finals.
It's was 0 - 0 in the
90mins. And it was still
0 - 0 in the extra time.
I was really afraid tt
England might score.
But i was relieved when
it wasn't successful.
The penalty kick-out
was the one which
made me nervous.
I even perspired when
2 of Portugal's
players missed the penalty.
But Ricardo, their keeper
really saved the day.
He managed to save 3/4
of England's Penalty shots.
When it was time C.Ronaldo
to kick, I was praying
so hard tt he will score.
I knew that he's an
experienced player who
has nvr missed his penalty
kicks.
And YES!!! HE SCORED.
PORTUGAL MANAGED TO GO TO
THE SEMI-FINALS.
I was so happy, man...
I kept smiling..keke.

some feet exercise..

Yesterday, i played soccer
at the hall in front of
ali's block.
I'm supposedly asked to
come at 9 but i woke up
late but i din reli mind.
Coincidentally, my parents
were going to the market
at bukit batok.
So they gave me a ride.
As i reached, my frens saw
me and asked me to join them
cuz they're short of
one player.
'THEM' refers to Ali,
Farid, Chan.
We had to reform the team
cuz i just came.
Altogether, there were
4 teams of four.
My team won Alvin's team
and we will meet the other
team in Finals..Hehe.
Then Ali's team won
Farid's team.
We met Ali's team in the
Finals.
Farid's team and Alvin's
had to fight for the
3rd n 4th placing.
It was a tough match
but Farid's team was
uneasily defeated.
Our match started very
tensely. Haha.
It was as though we're
playing in a real
tournament.
We were panicking..
it was so fun, man...
At first, my team was leading.
I scored the first goal,
with a volley using my
left leg. Second was my teammate,
YaoJie who kicked an incoming ball
really hard and it went in.
Ali's team then equalised
due to some mistakes made by
our unexperienced goalkeeper.
It was 2 - 2.
The atmosphere was different.
Everyone was desperate to
score a goal to determine
the champion.
Our opponent found some
space and kicked the ball
right in between of my
keeper's legs.
I couldn't believe it.
I fell to my knees.
Thats the end of the tournament.
We lost..
I was pretty upset and angry
cuz my keeper made stupid mistakes.
But i calmed down mins later.
We played for abt 5hrs,
non-stop.
I could hardly walk cuz my
legs were painful.
I was tired, very tired.
I reached home and i had
a headache.
I recovered hours later.
I reli had fun playing soccer
there.

it's painful in here..

It's really painful here
in my heart, without her
by my side.
I didn't get the chance to
contact her.
I've been thinking of her
always..i can't help it.
It has been affecting my
studies. I can't pay 100%
attention to what the teacher
is teaching.
My mind would wonder elsewhere.
Can somebody help me?
Only her friends can help me.
Whenever i'm lonely,
i would think of her.
Even if i'm with my friends,
i'll think of her..
The reason i find love is
because i feel lonely.
Now, i feel more lonely
than ever..it's hurting me.
Sometimes it's bearable,
sometimes it's not.
What should i do?
Can a kind soul help me?
I'm having too many problems.
I love her so much..
but what happened, has
gone too far for me to
chase and catch it.

..

I guess this is the only
way i can express out.
And i'm sure you will
be able to read.
To be frank, i've had
enough stirring troubles
in your life.
I made it worse.
Your mum knows you've been
smsing me.
under these circumstances,
it's time for us to forget
each other.
Even if you have to destroy
the love, i encourage u
to DO IT..
There's no way out, wajihah.
It's pre-destined.
There's no opportunity
for us to meet, to talk..
i have no other choice,
this is my last resort.
I'm so sorry... ='(

thinkin of you always..

..took me some time
of my life to create
this mixture of many
elements.
I kinda got used to
photoshop.
N i'm familiar with it.
I even had to steal some
pics frm someone..hehe.
would like to apologize
for that.
Jangan marah hah..

15.06.2006

well, erm..today i had
history lesson, my
whole class.
We were only 1 and 1/2
chapters away and we've
finished the whole
history syllabus.
And of cuz, we finished it.
It was held in the auditorium
and we all got cold aft some time.
We asked Mr Singh tt we're cold.
He was, too..haha.
He din have his hp with him
at tt time so he borrowed my
friend's to call the G.O.
to increase the temp. of the
aircon.
We ended at approximately 12.
Tt was kinda early.
I walked frm sch to cashew rd
cuz we were playing soccer
in a condo.
that's where my fren lives.
Since it was early,
i walked there along with
sooraj and faiz.
Faiz lives in fajar so on the way,
he went home.
So me n sooraj walked to the condo.
We were so tired.
Arrived at the condo, we sat
down to rest.
All the express classes, ABC,
came and Mr Prakash too.
I was wearing a shoe, not meant
for soccer, so i had to take it out.
The ground was damn rough,
and it cut my foot.
I had blisters, many of them.
I can't even walk properly.
It was so painful u noe.
I had to limp, like handicap.
haiz..
no sms today,
everything was silent.
kept looking at my hp,
bt it was useless.
She can't sms nor call.
hp has been taken away
by her mum, like i've said
in the previous post.
It all happened so fast.
wish i could call her.
what to do..haiz..
suddenly, i miss her.
it's just one day we din
sms, it's like one yr to me.
i hope u'll retrieve ur hp soon.
i love u.

situation has worsened..

i realised smth since
i befriended her.
Bad things just happen
to her..haiz.
Phone bills went up,
sometimes her stuffs
are confiscated by her
protective parents.
She's always reprimanded.
and all the stuff.
I just can't stop sighing.
As the 'love' grows,
more problems arose.
I think we're nt meant
for each other.
It's like we're going against
fate.
All along, i thought u were
the one who would end my
misery, sadness, etc.
I want u to be the one.
Symptons have showed up
tt what i've been thinking
might nt be true.
I just dunno what to do.
Things tt i've planned,
and things tt we plan,
seem not to work at
the 11th hour.
I'm so sorry, wajihah.
For causing all the bloody
troubles in ur life.
I've worsened ur family ties.
i wana end all these once and
for all.
I wan u to lead a peaceful life.
the only way is,
......
to just forget abt each other.
haiz..
i nvr wanted to do this,
nvr intended to.
just wana tell u tt i'm
pretty upset and sad
writing this post.
I wish it nvr happened,
bt it did,
it just did.
haiz..

superman returns

yeah..superman is returning.
bt it's nt christopher reeves.
He's gone to hereafter.
One minute silence plz...

He's like the best person
hu could act as a superman.
bt wad a pity...
anyway, looking forward to this
superman returns movie.
here are some pics of the
new superman.

you people suck..

i haven't been happy
lately...nor was i sad.
I'm deeply stucked in
the middle of
happy and upset.
It's bcuz of everyone,
and everything that takes
place in my useless life.
Sometimes i wonder,
why was i born?
I noe this is religious matter,
i can't change tt.
My mum said tt,
ppl who are born in the month
of june are usually,
stubborn, bad, and all those
negative properties...
Maybe that explains my character.
I've been trying to change tt
destiny..
been trying reli hard.
I'm all to myself now.
no one's guiding me.
It's me, alone..
I have to determine my own
future, my life...
one wrong step, n
it's all f@#$^% over.
sometimes i feel that
i suck...i just duno why.
i would like to say..
i'm sorry, people..
if i'm hard or harsh on u guys.
I noe i'm a sensitive person,
one wrong word frm u can
change me..totally.
U people will turn cold
towards me aft tt.
u people will start to hate me,
will start to avoid me,
will stop caring for me,
will stop loving me,
will LEAVE ME.
THIS RELI SUCKS!!!!!!
I'm a spoilt child..
haiz..
so stay away frm me if
you want...
this goes to everyone.
i'm all alone now.
I dun need anyone.
I'll just die on no one's arms.

just a sigh to me...

I guess i'm the
black sheep of the
family.
If anyone among my
siblings incl me were to
be scolded,
i would be the one hu
would receive maximum.
Just bcuz i came home
late frm my fren's house,
last sat...my mum began to have
the cold shoulder towards me.
I dun exist to her..
sometimes i feel sad,
terribly..n i shouldn't have
fought back her words.
I know i was rude to her.
Just a lil info abt myself,
i will fight for what's right..
that's my character..
so i will fight back, be it using
words or anything...
Haiz...
Whatever she does,
she's still my mum..
i can't do anything.
What can i possibly do
to ease her?
I've been keeping to myself
lately cuz i dn wana
add oil to the hot fire.
I hope she forgives me..:(

Now, my sweetie is not
in s'pore..
she is the one hu would
be by my side in times
of problems...
She would make me happy,
make me smile..n ease my mind.
She's gone to kl with her family
for 5 days or later..
I just miss her..haiz..
there's no one in this world
hu has ever cared so much
for me, except her..
tt's why sometimes, she's
my sister and my fren..
Love has grown in m heart.
I hope tt love lasts till
i've reached my goal of life.
I wan to be with her all my life.
I noe it's very embarrassing
for a guy to weep..
cuz guy is supposed to be
the tough ones..
bt to me, guys have the
soft part too...n i'm
the emotional type.
I dunno what will be of me
if i hadn't met her..
Thanks alot, Allah...
for meeting me with
such a wonderful girl.
I'll nt do anything stupid that
is hated by Him.
I'll take good care of her n
will never disappoint her.

bad 'dream'.

i had a terrible dream
this morning...*sigh*
i noe it's crazy as in
it's unbelievable for u
ppl to believe.
I had a dream tt,
i was in a place, more
of a country, and
there were ppl shouting.
I din reli hear them shouting.
I saw fright and fear
in their faces,
each n every one of them.
One moment, i saw a huge
wave, brown colour,
it was damn high,
higher than the coconut trees.
Lucky i happened to be
beside a coconut tree.
The impact of the wave
was so strong tt my whole
body moved,
i could feel it, really.
Water was splashing at me,
gushing at me,
i grabbed the trunk reli
tight, din dare to let go.
I realised tt it was a
TSUNAMI..
i mean, how can i dream
of such things?
then when the situation calmed,
a bus came and everyone
rushed to get onboard, i did.
I arrived at one place,
like a bridge connecting
one island to another.
The bridge was built
very high, like the summit
of mount fuji.
Below, were high-rise
buildings.
I was shocked, really shocked..
The whole area was submerged
with water and big waves just
continue coming in..
And the depth was abt 30storeys?
for a moment, i thought i was
in singapore..
and i thought of my mum, my brother,
my family...
i became afraid.
I called my house bt nobody answered.
Something just din satisfy
my curiosity.
I woke up all of a sudden.
I din noe what happened next.
But it was horrific.
Could this be true?
Will it happen?
*sigh*..
it reli scared me..
i've never been scared
like that before...

Malay O' level>>>OVER!!!

YAY!!!
I've just finished my
malay O level paper.
Paper1, i can say
that it's acceptable.
Not so hard, but it
doesn't mean it's easy.
But i was happy aft
the first paper cuz
i think i did well.
We were given 10mins
break.
I din follow my frens to
the toilet.
U noe the platform where
prefects pull up the flags
outside the hall??
I sat there and reflect
on what i've done.
I studied my peribahasa
and minutes later,
paper 2 started.
I was freaking worried
and nervous too.
I already got it wrong
for the first q. SUCKS!!!
Actually i put the correct ans,
bt i changed it.
So stupid of me..
I can just pray to God
tt i'll get great grades
for malay.
Well, tt's it..ciao.

byd's over..

YES!! byd's passed..
i'll concentrate on
the major war right now..
this coming monday is
my malay O level paper..
Almost every one of my
teachers want us to get
A1 for it..
cuz once it's over and we
get A1,
we have 1 subject less
to concentrate on
for october's papers.
June holidays are coming..
and nope,
no holidays for us...
my schedule is tight, man.
With lessons in the first
2 weeks.
Lucky my teacher understands
us and arranged tt
we go to kelong on the last
wk of the month.
Kelong is sort of a house on
water..not reli on water..
there's a support underneath.
We'll be staying there for
a few days..
having seafood as our meal..
YAY!!! prawns, lobster,
and not to forget..
SOTONG!!!! HAHA...
WATCH OUT SOTONG,
I'M GONNA EAT U SOON!!!

..

nothing better to do also...HAHA!!!


Just a little smth
from me..
I'm in a band,
now called,
"BOYCOTTED"



We were once called
ROCK-EX.. But we've
changed the name for now.
Before we permanently
set the name of our band,
we asked alot of ppl
about it..
Some even asked if
boycotted is an
american band..
We laughed so hard abt it..
Majority praised abt the name.
So BOYCOTTED it is..
It is our dream to perform,
we are musicians..enthusiasts..
We are hoping to perform
during BE-YOURSELF-DAY.
I hope our wish will be granted.
Mdm Hasnah's on it..
We even promised tt
we would concentrate
on our O's aft that..
no more games, no more
crap..just study and revise.

Well, i gtg now..
cya.bye.

...

nothin' better to do...
I decided to post pictures
taken with my dad's hp..
of cuz i din take the pic..
it was my sis who took it.





taken by me with my hp.
Cool huh?? It's like
dragonball..(Goku)haha..>

BIO UPDATED

BIO UPDATED!!!

greatest time..

Today i went to lot1
cinema to watch a movie
called, 'Over The Hedge'
with my dearest wajihah..
Arrived at lot1,
went straight to the last floor
and bought ourselves
2 tickets for the movie.
I can say that the movie was
kinda cool..the gadgets were
awesome. But it ain't that funny.
*haha*..
She was freezing though
she wore a sweater..haha..
What kind of a sweater is that?
A sweater that doesn't keep
people warm?? Haha..
That's not a sweater...haha..
Although the movie emphasized
more on the cheerful parts,
there were still emotional parts..
Some were so sad..i became sad too.
Honestly speaking, the music made
me sad..
Technology has advanced and
the characters were as though
they're for real..splendid!!!
Overall, i would rank the show,
7/10..
After the show, went to a
souveneir shop, i guess..
i dunno the name of the shop la..
I asked for her help...to choose
the teddy bear she likes..
She CHOSE!!! I thought it'd
be a hard time for me to force her
but she was easy at that time..
Don't select those non-cuddle
one la..it's useless if u choose those..
i told her that..haha..
I'm not very rich..that's my savings
But i dun mind, i can always save again.
She gave a sweet smile after choosing
the perfect teddy bear..haha..
she's so cute...!!!
awwwwWWw...haha
the teddy bear is a token
of appreciation from me for
keeping me company since the
day i met her..for showering me
with warmth i've nvr felt..
Thanks alot!!
I'm reli grateful to God for
meeting me with her..
I reli had a great time
with her all these while.
I pray that we will still be
together no matter what,
esp in the future..
I love u always...=)

18 May 2006...

today during CD period,
we had to do a survey
regarding NE..
there were 60qns and i was
damn lazy to shade..
I kinda scan thru and shaded..
Since we still had a lot of time,
my form teacher, Mr Singh
decided to talk to the whole class..
regarding our stands in our studies..
He gave a couple of advices.
He said, forget abt all this love stuff
which i find quite makes sense.
Suddenly, i was struck with guilt.
I just dunno why..it was as though
he was talking abt me..
He also said, treat those who
don't wana study like ur worst
enemy..
Not reli ur enemy where u have
to beat ur enemy up..
His trademark was, "See you in December.."
and "I'll only talk to u in December.."
Say those quotes to those who
don't wana study..
Why? Cuz O level has finished by then...
The more he lectured, the more
desperate i become to get 7A1s..
It's my life, my future...it's
everything to me.
My life would be meaningless if
i nvr meet my target.
*Mr Singh, although the rest hate
u, I'm proud to have u as my teacher..
You always want the best for us.
You want us to lead a happy life, I know..
I'll do my best.. =)"

i'm confident i can do it..

Yes!!!
I'm just too happy
to see improvements
in my results..
subjects tt i used to get
bad results such as
maths, physics, etc..
I'm sure by august,
my maths would be
better, i must get at
least an A2 for maths.
For physics, hmm...
A1?? I kinda like
physics now..
probably cuz i read
'angels and demons'
and 'digital fortress'..
These 2 bks were written
by Dan Brown..
Physics theory are included
in his books, that's why i like
it. The more i read, the greater
my interest for physics..
I'm on my quest to finding
my dream..
Dream..o..dream, where are u?
Oh, it's not here..
Maybe i'll find it, perhaps
few yrs later..or
the moment i receive my
O' level results..
this is smth im impatient of.
MOCK is over...the purpose of
MOCK is to let us feel the
environment when sitting
for O' level papers..
Some papers like maths, woah..
u have to sit down, studded to
ur chair for 2 long hrs..
my neck was so painful...
but i just carried on.
Anyway, i got used to it already.
Klah, gotta go..meeting my fren
to play soccer at my other fren's
house.. Wish me all the best for
O' levels.. =)

the exam n love menace...

a few wks to O levels'
but before i reach that level,
i have to undergo a couple
of obstacles..
i mean exams like MOCK
and PRELIM.
If i can't pass these exams,
hell i wun be doing well for
O levels..
PSLE has long passed,
comes another major one.
*sigh...*
what disturbs me most,
1)* thinking of her
2)* studies
These 2 things..i've been
having a hard time with.
though i'm nt in a relationship
with her, my love is like no1
can ever imagine..she's
permanently riveted in my mind
and my heart too..
I tried once..not to sms her..
but in the end, i suffered...alot.
I'm on the verge of getting stucked.
If i focus on her, wad abt my studies?
my future?
If i decided to leave her, and
focus on my studies...
will she be alone?
wait a min, not reli rite?
She still has her frens..
they're gd frens, who nvr fail
to cheer her to insanity..
Wad am i in her life?
Just a cornered guy, perhaps??
What will be the results if i tell
her that it's over between us??
that i'm chasing for my dream,
not for a girl..
What will be the results if i
tell her that we shud stop
smsing each other..
She still has her exams
and has 2 more yrs before
ending her secondary life..
i shud be discouraging her
to be engaged in all this
love stuff..
i shud be doing what her
parents have always wanted
for her..to study very hard.
God, plz enlighten me..
Show me the right path..
well..it's time for me to go.
Bye..*sigh*

level 1..accomplished

hmm...common tests,
it's over..
it's left with MT mock
exam..which is next friday.
Wish me luck..
I just need to buck-up my
chemistry..esp balancing eqns.
i feel that to know how to
balance equations,
is the heart of it.
Once u noe it well,
everything would be simple
for u to get As..
I'm just so happy that
i dun have any burden
anymore..i mean,
tests..
Anyway, i reli had a moody day
today.. i headed for pending
lrt station early..but then,
there was some major problem
with the bloody train.
I waited for almost 15mins..
By then, the platform was full
of commuters..
and the train was crowded..
i can hardly do my morning
exercise, man..
As i read my watch, (actually
i din have my watch at that time)
it was 0715h.
I rushed to school..hoping
that she's hopelessly waiting
for me under the hut.
It's totally my fault.
I should have followed my instincts.
to wajihah,
IM TERRIBLY SORRY!!!
I RELI MADE A FOOL OF U..
PLEASE FORGIVE ME..

damn pissed off, man..

*sigh*...
she's been going thru
pain all these while..
she's still a prey
to many students in sch.
But WHY?
Im sure she wun do such
things to hurt her
predators' feelings..
I noe her well and she's
not that kind of person..
What is it that those
bastards or bitches
want frm her??
Actually, i pity her..
She is already having
a hard time coping
with her personal
problems at home.
and now, she has to
cope with things in
school, how stupid..
Haiz...some ppl
just dunno when to
stop their nonsense.
Whatever it is, i'll
always support u
in fighting this "war".
approach me for
any help, im willing...

-to dearest wajihah..

inconsistent subject grades..

im darn happy to
find out that my math
grade improved drastically.
from C6 to B4 to A2..
was it just LUCK???
or my all-time hard effort??
anyway, what matters is
i improved.. =)
here comes the worse part..
MY CHEMISTRY GRADES..
they FLOPPED..
arrgghh!!!!
i failed for the recent test..
29 out of 60..
i was so devastated, man.
all those equations,
elements, etc..
is driving me into insanity..
i dun care, i must
get it over with..
i must revise this subj
all over again, from level 1..
malay GCE O' level is around
the corner..
29May i guess.
mdm hasnah has been giving
us wkshts. So far i did
reasonably well but i need to
improve on it too..
What made my grades good,
is that IM HAPPY.
I dunno why, but i guess
it's the reason.
She makes me happy,
but sometimes sad too..
and not to mention,
angry and upset as well.
haha..but those are
actually happiness behind
each and every one of them,
and im so happy to have met her.
i feel blessed, i must say..
I LOVE U SOOOO MUCH.

[untitled]

sigh...
questions seem to
flow freely in my
mind like air.
Questions that are
the reason i cant
pay full attention
to my studies.
Why, man? Why?
There are just too
many of them in
my 512MB head.
I dun believe in
monkey love, or
whatever they call it.
I take matters like this
seriously..
i dun treat ladies like
bunch of handphones.
No, i dun.
I dun dump as soon as
i got a new one.
No, i dun.
I made a very big
mistake once..
a promise that i've
treated it as nothing.
I din fulfil the promise.
now, i feel guilty..
i just dunno why.
and not to mention,
I MADE THAT PROMISE..
and i din go by it???
*sigh...*
I suffered from depression
when she said that
sentence to me..
i was filled with guilt.
Now, someone has re-opened
up my heart..
but what's weird is,
the same thing happened.
It was love at first sight.
I confessed evrything to
her.. but it really took
me long to actually have
the guts to do so..
However, i din go into
a relationship for
im not ready for one.
But, im actually treating
her as if we're couple..
isn't that similar to going
into a relationship???
What's my decision, anyway?
Me, myself and I don't noe.
Whatever it is, i dun
wish to hurt another heart,
never...

moodless jam'..

i went jamming today
at alvron which is at
bukit timah..
i din wanna go but
my fren insisted on
paying for me so
i went.
I set off at 4+ to meet
my fren..
He said that a few
girls frm his class,
jingyi, yewting and alicia,
wanted to come along
So we waited for them
for a while..
When we reached there,
we played only a few
songs.
We din have full force
cuz we're missing one
player..(farid)
Most of the songs were
not played very well..=(
Our drummer(angelo)
came late cuz he had
church stuff..
He came a few mins
before the jammin ended.
We planned to book
again but we had no choice
but to book at 8pm..
We ate at al-ameen while
waiting for time.
It's already 8pm so
we payed the bill and
went in.
The girls took our pics.
We thought of having
them as our groupees..
hehe...
We had fun and sad at
the same time too..
cuz we din manage to
make the girls enjoy..
we reli suck today...
an apology to the girl
was made by me.
haiz...the rest intended
to jam again tmr..(sat)
but ali cant come cuz he
has to help with his
relative's marriage..
angelo said he'll try
cuz he's afraid that
his parents may not
allow him, he has been
going out since, which we
are not aware.
Me? Hmm..
im nt so sure too..
im down with flu
which has been annoying
me. I couldn't play
well cuz of my flu..
about tmr, im afraid
i have to see my mood..
i can't afford to go out
2 days in a row..and
for u info,
i came hm at 10pm
today..and that's late.
my parents would surely
be angry with me, man..
anyway, gotta go now..
i really miss her like crazy.
Din get to chat with her
that much.. *sigh*.

The best and worst night class...

i went for night class today..
but i went home first
before going for night class.
I reached school at 6pm.
It was creepy,
so quiet..there was hardly
any noise..
I sat down to do my
maths revision..
few mins later, my frens arrived.
we studied for 2hrs,
listening to mp3.
drinking hot milo..
the milo was yummy..
it drove my fren to addiction..
haha..
2030h, we packed our things
to go home..
we walked home just for fun.
When we reached zhenghua sec,
decided to run..
surprisingly, i wasn't tired..
after running frm zhenghua to
segar lrt station..
but along the way, i was
racing with my fren,
hu was riding a bike..
I was in front of him,
when suddenly, i heard
a loud thud..
I turned back, and saw my fren
on the ground..
I was so worried, man..
i ran to him to see if he's ok,
i searched thoroughly all over him
to detect bruises.. but he sustained
minor ones.. he told me tt the bike
almost came into contact with my leg,
i could have tripped and fell,
head first..
it could have been fatal...
instead of thrusting forward,
he braked, because he was cycling
at a high velocity, the inertia
was high too..
When he braked, the bike
tumbled over..360 degrees.
His butt hit the ground first,
lucky not his head..
phew..thank God.
When i saw his condition,
it reli scared me off my ass..
haiz...

*missin' u...*

I have been leading a
torturous life these
few days..
i din have the medicine
for my sickness.
perhaps i have to wait
long to retrieve it.
I'm totally dependant
on that person to cure me.
He has to get that thing
for me..if nt,
it will get worse..
ARGHH!!!
SOMEBODY SAVE ME!!!
Someday i can't control
my addiction and...
i duno what i'll do.
haiz..actually,
the 'medicine' is a handphone
which is not faulty, as long as
it can be used.
im sick, cuz i've nt been smsing
her for the past few days..
though we're in the same sch,
but i still dn get the chance
to meet her or even talk to her.
"So near yet so far.."
I miss u, gerl..
I miss u a lot.
the person hu can get me
what i want, is none other
than my father...
please dad, get me a new
phone, perhaps a usable
one..it doesn't need to be
brand new..

flu...SHOOO!!!!

I wasn't feeling very well
today..actually, i've been
unwell since last night.
My sister, beat me up with
pillows..perhaps i must have
breathed in the dirty dust
tt's on the pillows.
We were fighting duno for what,
then she threw all the pillows
in the living room at me.
One moment later, i sneezed..
Oh god, that signalled that
im gonna have a flu.
Bloody Hell!!!
I was searching desperately
for tissues.
I was like a drug addict,
foraging the cupboards,
wardrobes, etc..
just to find tissue.
lucky my mum kept some.
It was actually for her own
usage, but she pitied me
so she gave it to me.

Today, i went to school..
i was quite ok but during
DnT lesson, due the
presence of dust,
cuz im in a dnt room,
DUST AGAIN???!!!
that colourless,
slimy liquid,
*i dunno what it's called*
kept oozing out frm
my nose..damn irritating.
I din absorb much for
today's lessons..
probably 10%-20% only..
i had to concentrate on
getting rid of tt slimy liquid.
HAHA!!!
I was so damn relieved
when i reached home.
I quickly ate panadol,
and im feeling better!!..
than ever..
=)

so tired of it..

haiz..what is this bullshit.
as days pass by, im
getting so restless of it...
im trying to pack it up
and dispose it somewhere
far from here..
so that i wun be able to
find it or come across it.
But......damn it!!!
i end up looking for it..
what the hell is wrong, man???
i've vowed to get rid of it..
That was a year back..
Why must it come to me??
or should i put it this way,
why must i go to it??
The previous one ended
all of a sudden..
how will this one end?
I'm sure this one, haiz..
it's gonna take a lot
of effort to do so..
it might take time too,
a year? 2 years? 3 years?
a decade?
haiz...i'll leave this to God.
may He grant my needs..
Anyway...
just now i went back to sch
to do my homework
with my 2 frens.
Before goin to sch, i went to
kfc cuz my stomach
was grumbling..my mum had
not cooked at that time.
After that, i walked to school,
fastening my pace each and
every second of the time.
When i arrived at sch, i saw
my frens and sat with them..
did my history hw, haiz..
was so boring..was getting
wormy by the time i did
the 2nd question.
then groups of students
came down from the
auditorium perhaps,
wsidol?? oh, who cares..
i just continued with my
work..we joked around
for sometime but when the
short hand of the clock
reaches 2030, i did
my homework more seriously,
feeling eager to complete it..
in the end i finished it..
was so relieved..28wks to
the Battle Of Knowledge..
but i just feel like it's
28days, *sigh*..

yay!!!..

Im so glad to hear that
she's back..YAY!!!
haha...
wanna sms her bt she's
overseas.
i miss her so much, man..
For the past few days,
i kept looking at my hp,
waiting for her msg..
then i rmbr tt she's nt
in s'pore..
haiz.....
but now tt she's back,
hell, man.
I cant sms her for
the time being.
my hp is spoilt..
not reali actually...
what happened is this,
when i tried to charge it,
nothing happened..
so there's a possibility
that the internal part of
my hp is faulty,
or my charger is faulty..
i already asked my bro
to bring it to a phone shop
to send for treatment..hehe..
I hope my hp will be fine.

i hate what ur doin..

FRIENDS are always there
to help u, to motivate u..
sometimes having friends
are an advantage and a
disadvantage too.
If u mingle with the correct
friends, you'll change for
the better.
If you mingle with the wrong
ones, it's obvious you'll
change for hell..
you'll be the devil,
destroying others' life
and so on.
Unless you know how to
conduct yourself,
listen to your parents,
go home straight after
school..
In my case, i dunno which
one are my friends made up of.
BAD? or GOOD?
They're gd in such a way that,
they're always there to help me
in my studies like in
maths, physics, chemistry, etc..
i appreciate their helping hands...
there's always a 'BUT' for every
compliments you give.
What i dun like about my friends
are,
they like to meddle with my
personal matters..
WHY??
They'll try to be busy-bodies..
when they speak, they dun
think abt ur feelings,
whether ur hurt or not.
That's why i dun believe
in having best friends, or
even good friends..
I only believe in having friends.
Best friends care for u,
care what's in ur heart,
care about ur feelings.
I've made up my mind..
When their mind is in
'STUDY MODE',
i'll join them..
but once they start talking
abt anything tt is not
in relation to 'EDUCATION',
i'll back off..
as easy as eating a candy..

"ginga VS bangla"

im supposed to post abt
this 2 yesterday...
this is regarding our PE.
Aft we ran 3 rounds arnd
the sch, we were given
free time so we played
soccer..i mean the guys.
Surprisingly, 4A n 4B
combined and we played
a match.
we separated ourselves
in this way..
those who think tt they're gd,
they'll be the "ginga".
u noe me, im a humble guy..
so i din join "ginga".
at that time, we din assign
a name for our(my) team.
The name "bangla"
suddenly striked us
when farid was dribbling..
sooraj kept shouting,
"Eh bangla, pass!!!"
HAHA!!! we laughed like hell
bt we still played the game.
sooraj din realise tt he
himself is a bangla..HAHA.
Frm then, we kept calling
each other "bangla" when
anyone of us was dribbling
the ball.
Amazingly, "bangla" won
2:0
haha...faiz scored for the 1st
time in 4 yrs..haha..
now then he scored, cuz
he's nt VERY gd in soccer..
second goal was scored
by ME!!!
woohoo!!
it was the best PE
we've ever had..

wah, i've been receiving
lots of hmwork..
the one tt im so reluctant
to do is Dnt(folio)..
it's so sux, man.
i reli need to crack my brain
to get ideas, and it's nt
1 idea, it's 12IDEAS.
I nearly suffered frm
depression cuz of tt..
i mean im already sufferin
frm depression..HAHA!!!
The other subjects, i dun
have any problem..
i just nid to revise em'
all over again frm sec3
syllabus.
Im desperate for time, man..
i need it.

Today n yesterday, i went
to faiz's place along
with another fren of mine, farid.
We went there to do our
SS project..
wads the use of this project??
mr santokh always ask us(4A) to
DO all kinds of things, n surely,
without fail, will ask us
to present in front of the sch..
this is so stupid, lame n a
WASTE OF TIME...
we're supposed to present this
crap next tuesday during
the morning assembly,
before the national anthem.
question is,
will the bloody-ass students
listen?? cuz if they do not,
we'll only be making a fool of
ourselves..destroying 4A's
reputation and pride.
anyway, back at faiz's house,
we played around with the com
most of the time.
We made a code for ourselves..
whenever we go to his house,
the moment we say,
"wanna relieve stress?"..
now, tt's a good sign.
it means...
LETS PLAY PS2..
YAY!!!
haha...
it was reli fun, haha..

school

stress reliever...

YEAH...
finally i can relieve
my stress on monday..
wanna noe why??
cuz im going jamming..
woohoo, i'l hav a hell of a fun
there cuz tt's the only day
i can relieve my stress..
im gonna jump alot,
smash the gtr,
punch my frens,
shout at the owner
and then burn the building..
nah, jz kidding...
whatever happens, i
must nvr neglect my
revision for O levels..
i'll be the happiest man if
i get less than what i got
last yr for the L1R5..

i'll accept ur decision..

..i've been trying
to make it up with
a gerl, who used to be
my special fren.
Ever since we broke up,
we din really talk to
each other,
even though we're in
the same class..
im being selfish..or
is it her??
but i dun understand
why must this happen?
we can't be frens, that's
what she said to me..
she's the most
unreasonable gerl i've
ever met..
she's using the past
in this situation...
i guess there's nth i
cn do abt it..
since she tinks tt our
friendship is not right..
i'll accept tt..
we'll nt be frens or
anything related to frens..
what's the purpose of
appreciating n cherishing
our beautiful moments??
i'll juz throw those away
in the garbage under my blk..
it's the end..

enlightenment...finally!!

im so relieved...
i watched the movie,
'catch me if u can'
and it reli enlightened me..
i had a hard time
deciding my own future.
i've decided to become
a pilot...
basic requirements??
get A1 for
physics, maths & eng..
i'l do my best..
i hope they dn judge
by skin color..
hope they're nt racist.

my first scary experience..

i was walking home
frm sch..
this incident happened
when i was under my
block..a few metres
away frm the lift..
when i was walking,
i din realise i was
being followed..
then all of a sudden,
tt thing juz
appeared right
beside me..
i was so shocked..
first thought,
that thing was jz
passing by..
then it stopped..
approaching the stairs,
it went up and waited
for me..
it jz stared at me..
it looked so fierce, man.
i was already thinking
that it might hurt me..
reaching the lift,
it took one last glance at me,
and went off..
phew...i was really scared u noe.
haha...
wondering what that
thing was???
IT WAS A DOG...keke..

fast...

2 months have passed,
time is moving very fast..
close and open my eyes,
realise that it's the
3rd month now..
n im stil not familiar
with the subjects i'm
taking.
i need to do something or
my future wil be destroyed,
my dreams will
always be a dream...
planning to go JC,
either Nationals,
Catholic, or Innova..
bt seriously, i duno
which one to go to..
but why go to the best
JCs??
just go to the nearest one la..
then cn go back early
to meet my wajihah...
hmm...maybe i
should reconsider huh..
maybe pioneer,
or innova...
O' levels, here i come!!!

-aimi

..loving you

i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
very much, iha...
=)

-aimi

not one more...

i've made one mistake during
my first love...
im not gonna make the
second one..
i'll make sure i wun..
im gonna treasure her
for as long as i cn afford.
I'l not find any reason to
start a fight..no way..

I'm gonna take this moment
And make it last forever ..
I'm gonna give my heart away
And pray we'll stay together
Cause you're the one good reason
You're the only girl that I need
Cause you're more beautiful
than I have ever seen

-aimi

understreet jammin' on 17 Feb..

-aimi

what's wrong with me?

i may look as if
im feeling well,
but actually,
im having a bad cough.
It just wun go away..
no flam.
I feel that there's smth
wrong with my lungs.
Maybe im exagerating,
but what if it's true..
i have a hard time
speaking too..
everytime i speak,
i'll cough..
it doesn't matter if it's a
light cough..
but instead, it's a
heavy cough..
a dying cough, it seems..
wad exactly is wrong with me??

-aimi

why hate??

hmm...
i decided to bring up
this matter cuz
i've a feeling that
im being hated by
somebody.
A question has been
in my mind.
Why do people hate?
Is is becuz they're jealous?
Or is it becuz they
don't like that particular person,
in terms of looks? behaviours?
attitude? what else?
Actually, it's not healthy
to hate someone..IT'S NOT.
The more you see that person,
the higher your anger n
frustration gets.
Your heart will ache like hell,
you see,
you'll only be bringing pain
to yourself, u ask for it..
..and as ur hate for someone
increases, your behaviour
and attitude will chnge..
you'll become more evil..
more cunning..
u tend to do anything tt's
possible to satisfy ur heart's desire.
Don't ever think of anything
negative..
When u hate someone, juz let it go..
when will it end?? nobody knows..
only u have the answer..
Think it thru.
I'm writing this post to
evryone who accessed to my blog
to read my posts..
DON'T HATE..
do the right thing.

..my days, they're changing

my days, nowadays,
it's like...
im becoming happy
these days,
i jz duno why..haha
my life only be peaceful
whenever im out of class
cuz i'l not face my enemy
frm then on..
and there's one thing..
erm..whenever im out of cls,
i'll try to look arnd
to see if she's around..
haha...
it's stupid rite?
i can't help it..
what wil happen to me
aft my O level??
Will i do the same???
I'm juz afraid that i can't
do that anymore..
why must I tell her
my feelings this yr??
why din i confess to her
last year?
i just wish i could
slow time
so that I can spend
more time on her..
i'll keep wishing.

..my sacrifice

after all i've been through...
i guess it's worth it..
i've let it all out...
i'm glad about that..
well, it was jz a confession.
i do like her,
i even wana be with her,
it's just...
she's just too happy
with her friends..
i dun tink she needs
anymore happiness..
her friends can give her
those...
if ur happy, i'l be happy fer u.
so,
this year wil be my last yr
with you..
i do not wish to bring this upon,
it's my blog rite??
i can freely write what i feel..
we may not be able to contact
each other again..
i'l free u frm my heart..
haiz...
i'l always love u..
muackk!!!

..someone's fighting a war against me

haiz...
i noe tt someone
is fighting a war
against me...
and i noe tt we've
been together before,
but why???
what did i ever do to u?
in school, i nvr bother u,
i nvr disturb u,
i nvr give a damn abt u..
so why shud u say all those
vulgarities abt me??
why muz u giv a damn abt me??
why u always feel uneasy with
the ppl i become frens with..?
especially gerls..
if u keep saying tt im in luv
with tt gerl frm sec3,
i would have been walking
with her to school by now...
i would have walk her home
aft school..
why must u do this to me???
u noe tt those words reli hurt me..?
ur gonna hunt me down
to the end izit??
juz tell me wad u wanna do to me?
u wana humiliate me in front of the sch?
i'l let u do it...
i'l stand beside on stage n watch e crowd,
as u humiliate me..
i bet tt would make u happy..
haiz...
bad things hav always been
laid down on me...
Is this retribution??
im fortunate,
i met someone whom i cn
share my sorrows with,
tt person is special..
question is,
when wil this war end??
someone has the answer to this,
the one hu started it..who else..
if ur gonna continue hating me,
go ahead..im restless n wordless..
only God has the truth
abt my feelings...
pray tt one day,
you'll get the answers
to all ur questions..
=)

it's all over...

YES!!!
it's finally over..
the pain is finally over..
phew!!
i've been keeping
it inside for
such a long time,
since the first time
i looked at her..
i din hav the guts
back then..
bt i jz happened
to force myself to
confess to her..
and it turned out well.
hehe..i was damn relieved.
bt smth jz proved me wrong..
i thought she doesn't like me.
found out tt she likes me...
why couldn't she tell me earlier??
anyway, now it's all over...
tt's wad im happy about..
=)
YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WOOOHOOO!!!!!!!!

shatterin' love...

..i can say that most
of the posts here
are all about her..
who? i don't wish
to say her name to
prevent misunderstandings.
(sigh..)
as day goes by,
my heart keeps saying,
'go for it!!!' but
i still cant find
the answers to my very
own questions.
I've got a few questions
tt need to be answered.
i can somehow sense tt
she doesn't like me..
i duno if i'm right or wrong.
All these while, i've been
loving her.
It's just tt i feel i'm
being played around..
wad should i do???
i think that..
i should just treat
my love for her...
as an imagination,
only an imagination,
a dream...

CNY celebration...

this pic was taken
on fri, 27th january
aft the CNY celebr
in advance in sch..
we actually planned
to go jammin on tt
day..bt
unfortunately,
the rooms in alvron
were fully booked.
So we cancelled..
However, we decided
to book at yishun..
lee kwong seng is
the name of the
jammin studio..
we were late so we
delayed the time
to 1645h..
we had to wait for
a very long time.
in the meantime,
we decided to do
some crazy n funny
stuffs..haha..
in the pic,
farid(wears red color)
is a rich man, walkin by..
ali n darryl are
beggars..
they played music to
earn a living..
so farid jz put
a small amt in the gtr
bag..$10.
Many drivers looked at us
and thought it's for real.
it's nt funny if i say it..
it'l be funny if u observe..
aft tt, then we
went for jammin..
we had so much fun...
with al the shoutings..
HAHA!!!

..no confidence???

i've got a story to tell..
there's this guy who is
15 yrs old...
he met this gerl,
hu is 2 yrs younger than him..
they were initially frens,
as time passed by,
they talked to each other
more often than expected,
esp the guy, was so tempted
to sms her..
the guy started to have
a crush on the gerl,
he then developed feelings
fer tt gerl..
that guy didn't reali
noe what he should do..
so he consulted his mum,
his mum wouldn't scold him
cuz she noes tt this is
common for teenagers
she juz advised him, etc...
he tried very hard bt
it made him more stressed
than ever..
he wanted to confess
to the gerl abt his
feelings towards her
but he was afraid that
the gerl didn't reciprocate
He kept thinking that,
IF the gerl didn't like him,
at least he has expressed
it all out of his heart..
bt he juz
..has no confidence
haiz...

one step higher...

haiz...
frm a normal crush
to a deeper crush..
reali cant stand it.
bt whatever it is,
i hav to accept the fact
tt we're not meant
fer it each other.
Though im havin
feelings fer her,
does she hav feelings
fer me?
That question has been
haunting me
day n nite..
even durin lessons..
it's reali a burden to me.
i sms u often cuz
i wana make our friendship
bond even more stronger..
haiz..i hav no idea y im
sighing..
iha..oh..iha..
why muz this happen
to me?
im outta here..

temasek poly trip..

..trip to temasek was fun
in some ways, and
boring in some ways too.
in the bus..haha
was fun..
i sat with farid,
we listened to the mp3
i've just transfered some
songs into his mp3..
we reached tp
abt 30mins ltr...
we met our tour guide..
he brought us arnd the campus
it was a slow process
cuz there were full of
ppl frm many schs
in s'pore
We went to a few branches
like chemistry, biology, etc..
set off back to sch at 1730
waited so long fer e bus,
we took cls photos too..haha.
i cn jz say tt the whole trip
was fun..esp in the bus
on our way back to sch...

..why?

haiz...why must u hate her?
till u say all those words
abt her..
it's true tt i hav nth
to do wif her,
it's true tt she's not
my concern now..
bt when u said all those
things abt her..
i jz think tt it's
time for me to defend her..
yes, she told me before
that she hates u, n ur frens..
just before me n her broke off.
She thought ur like other
gerls hu are minah2..
bt now, she doesn't even care
i tink she no longer hates u..
or ur frens..
..when can u guys jz be frens?
izit long?
...do i hav to wait long?

is jammin reali a waste of time?

many ppl say tt
jammin is a waste of time
bt i oppose to
anyone hu says tt..
whenever u start to jam..
the feeling comes to u
u start to follow the beat..
even wen ur stressed wif ur
studies..jammin cn help
u relieve it..
wen ur angry, u cn vent ur anger
on the instrument..
nt by breakin it deliberately
but by the way u play it..
trust me..even if ur takin
the O's or A's..
jammin wil nt be in ur way..
u hav to learn how
to distribute time well..
between studies n jammin..
life has to be fun
or it wun be meaningful...

the birth of R.O.R

our band has jz got
a new name..it was
accidentally thought
by our bassist, Ali..
our new name is,
Republic Of Rock..
cool huh?
anyway..
we went to jam
today..at 3
me and farid
arrived there 1st
n realised tt the
rest stil had not arrived
we waited..n waited
n waited, bt no1 arrived
so we went in n
settle the money 1st..
wen the rest come,
we started playing..
we reali had fun..wen
suddenly, there was blackout..
thought it would be done
in a while..
we waited fer abt 30mins
we were pissed off
so we left..

ps: i want more jammin sessions!!

untitled...

haiz...
i juz dun hav
the courage to
tell u,
how i feel towards u
I somehow think
this isn't right.
what should i do?

..skill doesn't really matter

to all the ppl
out there who have
interests in playing
electric gtr,
it doesn't reali matter
if ur nt gd..
Whenever u see
artists like
malmsteen,
mark tremonti..
i noe they are
damn gd in fast
picking..they're
reali damn gd..
bt dn ever let tt
be a discouragement..
dn be jealous of tt..
u jz continue wif
what ur doin, im sure
u can make it.. bt
it takes time to master.
a good guitar player
doesn't always have to be
a very skilful gtr
player..
u muz hav the feeling
wen u play the gtr..
without feelings,
playing the gtr reali
has no meaning..
sway with the beat..
if necessary, follow
all those styles like,
nodding their head nastily..
like billy martin..
he's good in doin all
sorts of guitar styles..
i should end here..
gd luck in masterin guitar..

..parkour in action!!

..you have to
click the 'play'
button to watch

328

265