lonely..

I have no idea why but frankly, i'm becoming more emotional by the days. I've become vulnerable and sensitive. By saying sensitive, it doesn't mean that i'll cry if someone calls me ugly. What i meant is, films these days are sad ones and whenever i watch em', i'm emotionally affected. I would burst into tears but i won't inhale too deep. Reason, if i inhale too deep as if i have flu, my family would know that i'm crying and that would be embarrassing. So i try damn hard not to make any signs. Alright, let's get to the point. I'm so lonely, man. I accept the fact that people whom i loved(not family) have left me. It was either my fault or theirs but i didn't really mind. I admit that i spend most of the time of my life thinking of her. My friends advised me to just forget her. I told them i will. Why is it that the more i try to forget someone, the more frequent will that particular person appear in my dreams? Even if they appear in my dreams a million times, what will it do? Yes, my feelings for them will grow. But if i approach them, will they give me a chance? Doubts, i have doubts about it. Sigh..i'm emotionally deranged, man. Why can't we be friends? I hope your hatred for me will slowly fade away in time..