Fuckin' Frustrated

I would like to express my feelings regarding a matter. Today seemed to one of my luckiest days. This may sound silly to ya'll but it's not to me. It's so hard to find a BICYCLE card deck, especially a BLACK TIGER. I went to the ICA with my family to make a replacement of my IC. After that, we went to Raffles Hospital to eat our breakfast/lunch. We then went to a nearby shopping centre which seemed to be uncrowded. It doesn't look like a shopping centre to me. It was very quiet inside. As we were walking inside, i came across a shop. My first sight was, some mahjong tiles. Just before i looked away, i saw a typical BICYCLE deck. I lay my eyes on it for quite some time.

Then i approached the shop slowly and glanced at the display. There were actually more. The shop tender who was an old lady(not so old till she can't walk..she was well-conversed in english though), she asked me to come in and take a look at the BICYCLE decks she has in store. I was astounded. There were more than BICYCLE. All the undistributed decks from USA were there. I saw a black BICYCLE deck which is BLACK TIGER and asked her for the price. It was 12 bucks. Well, it's a typical price for a black BICYCLE deck. So i took it for 12 bucks. I didn't tell my dad that i bought it because he will scold thinking that i bought that deck to gamble. Actually, i bought it because it's appealing and seems to be the most attractive card deck. Besides that, i bought to practice and learn some magic tricks. Once i reached home, i headed for my room and unwrapped the transparent plastic that enclosed the deck box. The moment i touched the cards, i soon fell in love with it. I kept it all in one piece and hid it under my blanket and then went to living room to play some games and surf the net on my notebook.

After about 2 hours, i went into my room to try out some magic tricks. It was GONE. I looked for everywhere in my house without telling my parents what i was actually looking for though they kept asking me. I have my mum in mind. I think she went into my room to place some clothes in my cupboard. It couldn't be my sister. Why would she wanna take it? She doesn't even know how to name the four houses. It could be my dad, but he slept when we reached home. It was my first ever card deck. And it cost me 12 bucks. That's a lot of money. I can jamm with my band with it. Gosh.. Arrghh.. I can't ask my mum and dad whether they entered my room and took something that belongs to me in the presence of each other. I'll be doomed if so. Sigh.. I'm fuckin' frustrated right now.

I really admire this video. I know it's kinda outdated but i just feel like posting about it. Matt used to scream like hell in the past. And i like this scream of his. It's awesome. Hope he can take the dare to scream again, at least once would do.

Relieved..

On my journey to school today, i couldn't help feeling damn anxious. Possible outcome is that i retain or promoted. Getting retained alone would be the end of the world to me. Some said getting retained would be a good thing because we will be given a chance to start all over again and possibly do exceptionally well for the next promotional examination. However, surprisingly, i got PROMOTED. Of course i was really happy when i didn't see my name on the board outside the G.O. But i couldn't let it out because i was still uncertain. Well, eventually, those names that do not appear on the board means that those people would be promoted. Based on the results of my promotional examination, the possibility of me promoting is 50:50. The moderation was really outstanding and exaggerating. I would like to thank God for answering my prayers and giving me a second chance to prove myself worthy to be a JC2 student. Nevertheless, i feel sad for my friends who did not make to JC2 namely R*****, A****, J**N***. These 3 guys have been the closest to me and now, we'll be physically apart. I had high hopes for them to promoted. I was astonished myself, to be hearing news about them not getting to be promoted. They didn't look upset either. I would like to wish my friends who couldn't make it, all the best for their journey to the promos next year. I bet ya'll do extremely well and at least be able to establish yourselves as the top students. Meanwhile, i'll do my very best for A levels, now that i've been given a chance. I'll do anything to clear my doubts about any subjects. No more SHY guy, it's time for DARE guy.

I guess i'll not go for her. I think it's dumb of me to do that. It is also not pleasant to be a person who always have a change of heart. It makes me feel as if i'm not true to the person I truly love and particularly, myself. I really miss this someone. There have been a repetition of this but it just makes me feel a lot better. Though the time we spent together was FANTASTICALLY little, I wish i had cherished those days and better, cherish YOU. Why do you have to pull my mine along with yours? Sigh..I also think that i'm becoming more eMo nowadays. Even my friends said so. I don't even wanna be an emo person, who rarely socialises. But the problem that has been tailing me since, has made me into one. Argh!!!

I'm beginning to really fall in love with this girl. It all started from a mere crush which i feel is stupid. She's the talk of the town. How can she ever be my girlfriend? The more lonely I've become, the more desperate i become. Haha. When i say desperate, it doesn't mean Really-A-Despo. She's of course, very beautiful and admirable, adorable too. At first, i thought she ain't gonna be friendly. But it turned out that she actually IS friendly. Whenever i chat with her online, i will feel happy, like never before. It's been a long time since i last had this emotion. Sometimes i wonder when will this speckle of happiness come. I've been longing and YEARNING for it. I definitely can't make it come, so i might just have to wait. I'm furious at myself. Why do I get to know her and make friends with her only now?; when school is nearing end(in fact, it already ended). Furthermore, i don't even know if i'll be leveling up or remain at the same level. I doubt she will remain. So my only hope is to get promoted. I didn't meet the promotional criteria i guess, but i hope this time, they'll do it by ranks and i sincerely hope that i'm not at the bottom 300 or 400 of the whole cohort, 1000. My last words for today, It would be GREAT if you could be mine. Even if it seems impossible, i'm sure it can be made POSSIBLE.

JC1 ends..

Today was the last day we will be in the classroom together as a class. Today marked the end of JC1. However, the day when we will know whether we'll be going separate ways is not today. We are going to enjoy and let the devil out of us free for a while and as 9 Nov approaches, it is time. Embrace yourself, young minds. For that day will determine your fates. Wah, i sound awkward. Haha. Anyway, i didn't take many photos on my phone today. I did take 1 or 2.

This photo irks me. Haha. This allen wanted to act g@y but since it's the last day, i just played along. And that marcus, always a pain in the ass. =D

..throwing oil to the fire

I'm already feeling down about my performance. I really want to be promoted. No matter what it takes. Even if I had to go for probation, i'll be willing to. If anything goes wrong during my journey to achieving my dreams, i'll feel like killing myself. My dreams are everything to me. I have to get them. There is no exception. Now, there is another thing that makes or rather made me more upset. It's about my ex. I guess she's attached now. I don't know how to describe the feeling that i have for. It's between 'special friend' and 'just a friend'. I used to be hyper and joyous when i sms her last time. But now, i'm not anymore. I guess it's not pleasant to sms with a person who already belongs to another. I have many eye-candies in school. If i could, i would get one of them to be my girlfriend(if they accept), but i just didn't want to. For what reasons, they are unclear. But i wish to salute her, coz she managed to push through all the obstacles and got herself out of the maze. I'm really happy for her and also, I hope you'll be happy with him. =)

i just need one more chance..

I was leniently given a chance. A chance to prove myself worthy of proceeding to the next level. I know I did everything i could to get what i want, what i really want. Grabbing this chance would mean almost everything in my life. I failed to grab this opportunity. My intention was never to break my own record. I still never ponder about what my next step would be, cause I still have some faith in myself. Though it deceived me, once. I'm gonna take this damn risk. I'm gonna give it one more try. Please God, just give me one more chance. I don't wish to fail this mission. I hope He grants me this important prayer of mine. I really plead upon You.

..think i have what i want already

This is just a random picture i took with Weicheng and Weihan today during the PW workshop. It was as if it was our last days.

This is a picture of four of the most talented and gifted football players in S29. Cool eh? Haha. I was just kidding. In fact, we play soccer well. As in, our combination is really effective. We are called 'Imba' which was named by our Chairman of the team, Weihan. Hehe. Anyway, today i just added an additional RAM into my notebook. I thought i could change/improve the graphics of my notebook but i actually can't. There's no way i can change what's on the motherboard. But i think i have what i want already. An additional RAM and since i can't buy a new graphics card, i cancelled it out of the list. You know, i met my classmate when i was near the entrance of lot 1. I think she looks better now. Erm..kinda hot. A pity i just said 'hi', smiled as if i haven't seen her for a long time which in fact, is true, and then just continued walking. It was so stupid of me. We could have grab a table in Mac, buy a drink and have a nice conversation. Haha. Everything seems to have changed. The relief part is, i've just made a new ezlink card. It's one of the things under my 'essential' list. Without it, i can't go anywhere, man. But one thing is, the lady didn't align my photo properly and it looked kinda 'senget'. She treats me nicely though. =)

Sad thing.

Hi guys, i just returned from a memorable trip with my fellow secondary school friends and a very deary pal, Angelo. His family moved to Dubai for some reasons that we ought not to know. We understand that. Perhaps it might upset him or his family members if we were to ask. He was on his journey back to his homeland, Philippines where he will continue his education. But along the way, he dropped by Singapore to visit us and probably spend some time with us. It was really nice to see him again. But it's sad he could only be with us for less than half a day. It's really a long journey though we spent only about 5 hours with him. Here are the pictures i took. There's more but we have to wait for Kelvin to create an online photo album and then i'll post em' here.

The first journey ends..

It feels so great that it is all over now. But it is not entirely the end yet.. I would either repeat the whole year or proceed to JC2 to complete the second major examination after GCE O level, which is GCE A level. The examination that determines my being in RSAF. I will take my instructor's words seriously, and i will try my best and hope that i'll meet him again in RSAF. I have indeed been looking forward to this day, expecting great stuffs that can be done within this time period. Ironically, though it's after promos, there's absolutely nothing much to do. It is so boring. I miss exams, school and my eyecandies, =D. During this short-term holiday, i'll also have dinner with my sweet little jiejie. Haha. It's been a long time since i last met her. Many things that i can actually are restricted due to the fasting month. But it's not a bad thing, you see. I can save money too. Haha. So that i can spend after the fasting month. And not to forget, further improve my guitartistic skills. Hehe. Not to be the fastest finger among others, but the one who produces the most soothing and creative sounds. Anyway, i don't what more to post about. I shall end here.

..

It's been a long time since we last met.
It is really a very very long time.
Your face keeps flashing in my mind.
I sometimes imagine that you were
with me and those times i smiled to myself.
I just wish those imaginations could become real.
My attempts to find you everyday keep
going down the drain along with the drifting waters.
I strongly believe that we would be together again.
Because of you, i still got no strength to start.
How do i make myself hate you?
Think it through, i don't wish to..
I wanna remember the moments we had
under the small hut, especially..
I guess most of our times were spent at
that very spot. Haha..
I did everything in my hand to impress you.
Still, it wasn't fruitful.
If i were to meet you again next time,
i'll hold you tight in my arms and never ever let you go.

Goodbye..

So i guess it is goodbye to my Motorola E1070. It was deliberately but silently stolen. The thing is, i placed it on my bag with my shirt covering it and i put it among many bags that belong to my friends. I was playing basketball with my friends and our bags were less than 15 feet away. How could anyone just took without our knowledge. Sigh.. That phone has been my very best companion. A lot of memories with it. I would like to thank my friends who even cared to stay back for some time to help me look for it. I really appreciate it. The results however weren't fruitful. What am i going to do now? That phone has always been of great use to me. Now it is just gone.

Is this the end?

i guess this marks the end of me
being an SYFC pilot, and also a
youth pilot. I'm really very sad
right now. I've never felt so sad
this is because it feels like my
dreams have shattered..
Yes, sometimes i dreaded going
for my flights.. But now, i just
have to be phased out, or shouldn't
i say that.. 'Phased out' seems to be
a negative word. I had a talk with
my instructor SIM CK.. He said
that he would put me through
phase 2. But, i just have too many
CxWx for a phase 1 pilot..
Seriously, it's because of these
CxWx that i didn't have time to
at least complete phase 1..
Of course, i can't blame the
weather for this. It just wasn't
my day. I love those moments
when i'm in the air, looking down
and i could see everything that is
in Singapore..i could even see PJC.
Flying through the clouds were a
great experience too.
I must and should say that i had the
best and caring flying instructor
that anyone can ever imagine of.
Despite the few scoldings in the plane,
he really was and still the best.
I had a great time flying with him.
There is an aura of confidence in him
and enters my body everytime i flew
with him. He said, he could have put
me through. But with the remaining time,
by the time i go for my 1st solo,
it will be my promos, which is also very
important for me cuz I have to be promoted
to J2. He wants me to concentrate on my
studies, and get tremendous A level grades
and apply for air force after that.
He strongly encouraged me to do that.
And i somewhat agreed with him..
Sigh..i guess this IS the end..
Tomorrow will be my last flight
as a youth pilot.. i just felt like
breaking down.. I put all my effort
to get into SYFC..a place where my
future career stands.

I'm really at a loss for words.
I'm really all stressed up..
I had my a parent-meeting session
in school regarding my results today.
I felt sad for my parents and
disappointed in myself..
In the JC life, it is all about
application of knowledge, not
about content only..
And that's where the problem lies:
APPLICATION..
Furthermore, my SYFC was involved.
The VP said that i will have to
quit it.. FUCK IT!!! I won't.
I don't see any relation of SYFC
with my MYE results at all...
That's not all..from now on, i can
only leave school at 9pm because
of the compulsary night study..
I find it beneficial if we stay back
twice or thrice a week but imagine
everyday? And with reluctance?
This ain't gonna work, sucker.
I just miss BOYCOTTED..
i miss the times we jamm at
the studio..all crazy and funky.
I miss those jokes.. unfortunately,
my guitar would be kept till promo.
I have to get promoted to JC2
whatever it is. But that does not mean
boycot me from all my stuff.
Sigh..i need intensed guidance..

What the fuckin' hell is wrong with these people?
What is their main intention of holding
innocent minds as hostages and showing
no mercy to them?? Though those hostages
are not related to me, i feel really sad
for the family of the deceased..
The way they were murdered was really
inhumane, according to the news reporter.
I wonder how it must have felt being
murdered mercilessly..It must have been
unexpected. It's like you are asked to turn behind
and face a plain meaningless wall,
drips of sweats of fear trickle down your
forehead..you don't know what's gonna happen.
Then in a glimpse of an eye, everything went
blank..or it could be worse. They murder you
slowly so that you can feel the excruciating
pain. I really can't imagine it..
If only i had the power to entirely eliminate
any aggressors that is standing this ground
of earth. If only i can read people's minds,
like their plans to do something bad or anything.
Sigh..just where do their human conscience go?
Can somebody stop this hell!!??

The mysterious girl in my dream..

I had a dream last night, of meeting a girl
whom i've yet to know..
a sweet, nice, average looking girl.
I can't even remember how
i got to meet her. She seemed to
be of the same age as me.
I can remember that when i met her,
we walked around and had
loads of fun..where? exactly i don't know.
I can't recall that vividly..
Then, it was time for her to go,
i don't know where..
And i held her hand, and kissed
it, and i cried. I really cried..
I cried as if she had made me
so happy that i couldn't bear
to let her leave.. and...
she was gone..
i woke up soon after.
Whoever that girl was, I wish
i could meet her someday.
I wanna feel happy like before.
sigh..

..pissed off am i today.
I was supposed to have my 7th
flight today at 1640 but the stupid
school event held me back..
Have you no idea how many flights
i cancelled over the past few days?
It's not that we can cancel our
flights anytime we want..
that club doesn't belong to me.
I already complied with that
sucker asshole CCA HOD that
i'll cancel my morning flights and
book afternoon flights..i just did..
And the annoying thing was, she
was always nowhere to be found.
I searched for her fucking asshole
all over the school and couldn't
find her. Just where the fucking
hell was she? AARRGHHH!!!
Why is this school making things
damn hard for me to handle!!??
One after another, more problems
arrive. I can't deal with these
all at one go, can i? Of course not.
Morever, my bloody CT already
spoilt my mood.. i'll be meeting
the principal with my parents
for "good"..
Whatever it is, i have to complete
my phase 1 before the
meet-the-parent session.
I just met my syfc coursemate,
Ben who is in PJC too.
He told me that he was asked to
meet the principal and CCA HOD.
His results was not that bad, why
would he have to see them??
The CCA HOD called syfc and told
auntie winnie about it..and
Ben was nearly phased out..
lucky the instructor he flew with
wasn't his primary instructor
so they gave him a chance to re-fly
the sortie but i'm not sure if he
will be phased out..
Sigh..why have i become more
dumb and stupid??
I studied really hard but i still
can't achieve the grades that
i want.. Maybe because of the
negative externalities..
Maybe i've been spending time
on my laptop and FIFA 07..
I gotta stop this destructive habit.
Alright people, i'll be gone from here.

I will definitely never forget the wonderful experience
of flying in a genuine aircraft at a young age like this.
I guess not many youths have this chance..
I just have the feeling that i might be phased out.
Although i might advance to phase 2, i will
somehow be phased out half way as there isn't
enough time left to complete those flights..
It is just too many to complete.
The above picture is a picture of one of the
aircrafts in SYFC in the parking shed..
Though they are small, i really learnt a lot
in it. I would like to thank my friends and
family who have been supporting me to
continue this SYFC course..without them,
i would have simply withdrawn from it due
to the level of stress that i have to go through.
Despite my school's discouragement of this
course, my friends have always been there
to compensate the negativities..i'm really grateful.
I haven't been feeling emotionally well lately
due to this problem in school.. However, it just gets
better everyday..i feel better now..
I feel that i can manage time well right now
and i'm slowly catching up with my school work.
Below is a picture of a fighter jet that i've been
longing to navigate. With its speed faster than
the speed of sound, everything would be silent
in the cockpit except for the voices of you, your
weapons navigator and the air base, how cool will it be?
It is none other than the magnificent F-16..

Question..
must a person, especially
mothers, raise their voice
or shout at the top of their
lungs whenever they are
angry at us?
Unlike my father, he would
never scream when he scolds.
That's because he believes that
we are all grown up now.
There's no need to use methods
that is not good for own health.
Why mothers scream when they
scold?
Well, that's mainly because they
like to stress their throat so much?
Hmm..maybe they like to feel
tired? Haiz..i just don't understand.

Deathly Hallows temptation

What the hell!!??
I wanna buy the new
harry potter book,
the deathly hallows.
It will be the last story,
how sad.. =(
I wish i could buy it but
my allowance hasan't
come in yet..
The cover alone looks
appealing and seducing.
I don't wanna listen to
others who have read it
tell me the story line.
I'll never listen to them.
I don't give a damn,
i'm gonna do everything
so that my mum would
buy them for me..muahaha

I thought i have grown stronger.
I can face such hurtful jokes
without even stressing myself.
I was wrong.
i just can't take it anymore.
I'm at a new level now..
i feel that at this level,
it's worse than before.
There are challenges that
await..these challenges can
bring me down anytime.
I would lose if i go beyond
the limits.
It is indeed fun, teasing
people. The outcome is,
you get a sense of satisfaction.
You laugh, other people laugh.
There will be smiley faces around.
But what they do not take note,
is the one that is being teased.
It is hurtful, very hurtful inside.
Nobody can ever imagine that.
That's because they are not the ones
who go through every day in school.
A sensitive one i am..i can't help it.
I've told my friends about is too
strong for me to withstand and what
is not. And this time, it is fuckin
unwithstandable..
I wish i could just blow it out
and the hot ashes and lava would
hit their faces and disfigure them.
But hell no, that is too evil..
and i'm not..i just kept mum.
And you know what? It seems to
be the best solution to this never-
ending problem.
Keeping mum as if i don't care.
Answers to questions are monotonous.
Eventually, they will stop bothering,
for a while that is.
Now i'm in a new environment which
is yet to completely adapt.
I wonder, should i value this friendship?
Do they value friendship?
Do they know what a friend should
and should not do?
Just think of it for a sec alright?

GM's Dialogue

During the GM dialogue, we were
asked if we had anything to ask
or comment on..anything on syfc.
The staff, instructors, facilities..
We had nothing to say..i guess
cause everything was fine so far.
Since we had nothing to say, the GM
told us about his life story..about him
being in RSAF, the life he went through,
a few years of not spending time
with his family..and the things he did
during training in RSAF.
He went through the BMT for 3 months
and after that, he was assigned to
air force. After some time, he was again
assigned to F5, a fighter jet.
After a year of about 100 flights,
he became an F5 trainer.
He was then chosen to be an F16 pilot.
Then he was sent to the states for
training..manouveures and aerobatics.
There was operation red flag..
listening to him speak made me more
determined to go to airforce and
navigate the fighter jet. You guys should
go to youtube and search of
operation red flag.. it was really cool
and just cool..haha..
pilots from other countries were
present..there was this red team
and green team..
But the bad thing is, we won't be
able to see our family for about
3 to 5 years. We'll be staying
overseas..meeting different people
of different religions and races.
But the good thing is, if we are
opted to go for local universities
scholarships, our tuition and
everything else is paid for.
On top of that, while we study,
$4ooo++ will constantly being
added in our bank account.
Isn't that great? Wow..

Last day of 152 together

I had my groundschool at seletar
today.. I was supposed to have my
flight, my sortie 5 but really
unfortunately, it rained..
a heavy downpour..
I expected the rain to last
long and it did..
There it happened again.
I had 5 Cx..it was the worst
thing that could happen to me.
Lucky some of my course mates
came early so i spent time with
them in the sim room, ops room
and cafe too. 1240 was approaching
so we went up to the mass briefing
room at level 2.
We had a dialogue session with
the GM(general manager)..
We had 'nothing' to stress out
to him which he assumed that
we are so far happy being in syfc.
In fact, we are. The special friends
from different JCs around the island.
I'm really fortunate to have met them.
They are not those arrogant type though
they are academically genius.
Some are from RJC, HCJC, NJC,
and even NUS high..i had fun with them
during groundschool..
Today would be the last day we'll
be having mass briefs and groundschool
together..We would meet each other
before our flights if we are lucky.
One of my coursemates even
composed a song called,
'my friends from 152'..it was nice
and soothing..the lyrics are touching too.
I'll really treasure the great friends
i made in the youth flying club..

encourage lah..

There is one thing about my
current institution that i'm
pissed off with.. damn..
My inst doesn't encourage
students to join SYFC
mainly because flights will
clash with lessons and this
might affect the student's
performance in their studies.
This is true..i agree..
But it's up to the students to
join that club..because this
is what they want..
Take me for example,
i join syfc because i want to
be a pilot..
either a fighter or commercial.
It is for my future..my dream.
The inst has no damn right to
stop us from reaching our dreams.
The VP told me just now,
"I don't give a damn of how much
you pay for the flying lesson. You
have to follow my rules."
That truly sucks lah..
Of course he could say that because
he isn't the one taking the lesson.
It's not his ambition anyway, it's mine.
I don't give a damn too..
And don't think that i can't cope
with my studies..
let me explain for my results.
I just need some time to adapt
to the new system..and subjects too.
It will take time for me to climb
up the ladder that keeps
shortening in length.. and also,
i need someone to at least motivate
and encourage me to do better.
Not discourage me and make me
lose hope..damn ass..
I like my CT..she's the best.
She understands me the best.
I had a talk with her and she said
she's very concerned for me
judging by my current results.
She said she can't stop what i'm doing
cause this is my dream..to be pilot.
She encouraged me a lot..
She told me firmly that she would
wanna see me in J2 next year.
And i told her.."I WILL!!!"
that's the kind of motivation i want.
I'm grateful my friends are there for me.
My greatest concern would be,
i'm afraid i might not be able
to advance to phase 2.
I need more confidence man.
That is how the instructors determine
whether we ought to go to phase 2.
I need to get all the checks right..
I must be confident..
At the same time, i must buck up
in my academics.
There is utterly no use having a PPL
with a low academic history.
I'm eyeing for the SAF scholarship.
I'm going to be the first known malay pilot.
No matter how steep the slope is.

The last day of the Old Grand Dame..

2 days ago(Saturday), i went to
kallang stadium along with some
of my 4A'07 classmates and one of
Albert's friend from his institution.
Towkoon was kind enough to book
the tickets beforehand as it was
damn crowded when we reached there.
In fact, it was already crowded when we
were walking there. We had to walk one
round and then crossed the overhead
bridge before we finally reached the stadium.
As a matter of fact, the displacement was
half the distance we walked..
As soon as we arrived, we grabbed the best
seats that we could find..
Soon enough, the match between the
s'pore veterans and m'sia veterans began.
Too bad Fandi Ahmad couldn't make it for
he was and is still in Indonesia coaching
his team. The game was pretty slow well
because thet are old and their skills are
depleting.
There is one lady about the age of my mum
who kept laughing annoyingly at the way the
veterans were playing. It was as if she's the coach.
She also commented on one of the m'sia veterans
that he was plump and could hardly run..
When he was substituted, many applauded not
because of his great skills and play, but because
m'sia had finally taken out the black sheep
shall i say..
S'pore scored the first goal which was a very
cool and nice one by sundramoorthy..
He chipped the ball to the top corner.
During the second half, the game was pacing
up.. It became more challenging.
One of the s'pore defenders tackled
the m'sian striker from the back and
was awarded a penalty..that was how
m'sia equalised..final result was a draw.
We wished we could bring our own
bottles of drinks but we were prohibited.
probably because they fear that we fans
might throw the bottles at the players
or referees, or even the ball-pickers..haha..
Me and sooraj were dehydrating..
drinks were selling at 2 bucks per cup,
which i could simply get it at the minimart
near my house at $1.50 per 1.5litre.
So i couldn't afford to invest 2 dollars
on the small cup..such a waste of money.
The s'pore fans were cheering for
mark viduka and harry kewell..haha..
because they are the EPL stars..
i guess the s'pore players must have
been disheartened by that..
The aussie supporters were really hyper
i must say.. the moment they entered the
stadium, they cheered and captured
our attention.. whenever they were intervals
and funky songs were being played, they would
move to the groove and began dancing like
wild monkeys..haha..
s'pore players did well during the first half.
They missed many chances to score.
All the aussie players were BIG..haha..
S'pore didn't stand a chance..4 of our players
were injured just because of body contacts.
In the middle of the second half, kewell
came in and everyone started screaming
for him.. and he scored one for australia.
After the match, we supporters were asked
to stay for the closing ceremony of the
national stadium..
We went back to history for some time.
The hosts told about the great things that
happened in that national stadium that
made us proud of it.
Fireworks then began..they were damn
nice..and there was this heart shaped
firework but unfortunately, i couldn't
captured it cuz of camera problems.
After that, a band performed some covered
songs by other bands like U2, etc..
We jumped with joy, moving to the beat,
enjoying ourselves..
WELL, it was really a night to remember.
The memorable national stadium will
be torn down soon..sigh..
[There was this one girl whom i've been
keeping my eyes on at the stadium.
She was sitting a few rows below me.
She looks like an arabian but also
like an israeli..
She's not like some girls who care
so much on their dressing(materialistic).
Her dressing was simple..
She was of course sweet and her
smile was melting me..not really, haha..
I guess she's a PR cuz she speaks a bit
of singlish.
I really forgo my chances that time,
to get to know her..get her friendster
or even number? Haha..
At least make friends with her.
Frankly, that's the kind of girl
that i've been looking for but
situation had changed..
She and her siblings just went off
like that without me noticing..
Sigh..what an opportunity..

Night cycling

Looks like i have a bike
group of my own..
Whenever we go cycling,
it's always the same people.
Suraj, Farid and me..
Just last night, we went on
an adventurous trip around
choa chu kang..
All the dark places we went.
It wasn't my idea actually.
It was Suraj's.
The army detention barrack
was located so deep inside.
We decided to check it out.
As we were cycling up the
deserted road..we saw some
soldiers standing at the gate
and it was so silent..
Suraj thought they were
statues..and the instructors
were talking to the soldiers
quietly..
I bet they were up to something.
We u-turn to go to the big canal
and suraj showed us.
It was really huge and dark.
REALLY DARK, EERIE and DESERTED.
the only source of light was the moon
and i thought it was already bright.
We kept cycling down the pavement.
It was slippery and the feeling that
the water from the tyres hit our
legs, was unpleasant..
The light was dim and we could
hardly see whether it was canal
water or...or.. BLOOD!!??
You know what, we were really
lucky that Suraj led the way.
We were damn lucky that he
has light on his bike...
Just a few metres away, we saw a
signboard which read, "deep waters,
keep away, etc.."
It's a dead end.
If we hadn't stopped,
all of us would have fallen
off the STEEP slope and into
the deep waters.
We then saw buildings and colourful
lights at the other side.
We thought for quite some time.
Suraj then told us that that
place is Malaysia, Johore.
I was like..WHAT??
Malaysia? Near to Yew Tee?
And he kept convincing us.
We searched for networks on
our mobile phone..and there it was.
Malaysia operating reception:
Celcom, My Maxis, etc..
That was really Malaysia!!!
I was astonished..
Suraj took a big rock and threw
it into the waters..
The ripples spread really wide.
That means the depth is very
deep..
After that we headed back on course
and me and farid cycled
pretty fast back to Bukit Panjang.
Overall, it was really an adventurous
trip.. Hope we can go for the same trip
but more adventurous one some other time.

Bus Fare

I just don't understand about the
bus fare charges thingy..
Who on earth came up with this?
If you are a secondary school or
a pre-U student, your ez link fare
would be 45 cents. If you pay by
cash, it would be 55 cents.
That's acceptable and affordable.
But i have a strong disapproval
with the adult fares..
The adult ezlink fare is 80 to 90 cents.
But if you pay by cash..
Gosh!! Goddamn, it's $1.50.
It's total crap lah..
To think that buses are seen as
a necessary medium of transportation
for most of us who don't own cars.
To think that the demand for buses
is price inelastic, which means that
a change in price of the bus fare
would lead to a less than proportionate
change in the quantity demand for it.
To increase their total revenue and
maximise profit, they jolly-well
raise the price of bus fares.
What's the difference between
ezlink fare and cash-bus fare?
What's the BIG difference that there
is a huge difference between the price?
Are they doing all these for their
own benefits or for our own good?

Riding..

I went to woodlands regional library
this afternoon with jingyi,
to do my math holiday assignment,
and also to accompany her.
She just has this weird 'thing'
that she can't study at home.
She doesn't feel cosy and can't
concentrate when she studies
at home..and i was like kept
telling her to try and change
her attitude of adapting to
new environments..
Because if you always study outdoors,
you would eventually be tired
by the time u reach home.
As this goes on, you'll be even
more tired and can't study.
In the end, u won't go out and study.
Anyway, we stopped and went to
kfc to eat.
It's been a while since i last
ate zinger burger.
It really tasted good..
I had to rush home as i need to
get farid's bike to meet suraj
at the mac at bpp.
We were going cycling.
Actually, he wanted to test out
his walkie talkie.
Haha..it was kinda cool you know.
I brought mine too and connected
the walkie talkies.
We talked crap over the W.T.
We pushed our bikes along bangkit shops
and made unnecessary calls over the W.T,
people started looking at us.
It was really cool lah.
Wish we could bring the rest of
our friends and cycle together
and have a walkie talkie
in our hands and talking crap.
We haven't been doing that..

Dreams are killing..

It is my dream to fly.
It is my dream to be airborne.
It is my dream to sit in a cockpit.
And i already have, and still.
However, my dream is really
killing me.
It is really stressful to fly.
You got to get everything right.
You have to be a fast learner.
You have to make sure you do
your homeworks before flight.
I can do all that but the time
span that is available is just
not adequate.
seldom do i have the free time.
And not everyone can advance
to the PPL course.
Like the OM said, "it's ok if you
get phased out for everything
flight is a bonus."
I somehow agreed with that
but that doesn't mean i have
to let myself get phased out.
Oh God, please give me the
strength and motivation..

..i was part of it too

I just had a realization.
I was a part of it too.
After her phone was confiscated,
and we lost contact.
Her mum discovered about us
when she confiscated her phone.
Few weeks later, we managed
to contact each other via msn.
I was so so angry with her for
not even trying to contact me
that i somehow..scolded her.
I was too harsh on her..
Aaarghhh!!! Why do i realize it now?
She became mad at me and sent me
this email that changed my
personality till now.
In that email, included the lame
excuses why we lack the
compatibility, and that we should
go separate ways and all that crap.
Sigh...................................................
But it's too late right now.
Nothing can change her mind.
Her mind is set, i'm no longer
in her picture gallery.
No matter how hard i try,
i still can't get her back.
I hardly get the chance to
chat with her...
I'm really such a hardass..

sortie 2

I had my sortie 2 today.
Seriously i'm slower than the rest.
But it's ok, i'm gonna book the
whole of next week.
I need to catch up..gosh..
It's 6 more flights to go
and it's not like i can get
all of the bookings.
Anyway, i cleared my external
checks, which means i can just
do the external checks first
and wait for my instructor
in the aircraft.
I learned how to navigate
the plane.
Nothing much really..
But things are becoming better
and better as i progress
from one sortie to another.

A new face..

Hi guys, i've just changed into a new skin. And i've yet to update on certain parts. Don't worry, i'll update soon. As for the music, i'll update once every 2 days or so. So enjoy.. =)

..continued, 15.06.07 4A Outing

4A Outing 15/06/07

I just can't bring myself
to talk to you.
I'm sorry pal.
I just can't.
I mean, i wanted to.
But with the rest
making those unnecessary
gestures, it just changed my mind.
It doesn't seem right anymore.
I'm just sorry, man.

What type of heart does she has?
Why do i say that?
That's because, when we fell apart,
under my reluctance,
there was just no side effects for her.
She was just fine.
How did she do that?
I'm darn sad and depressed,
unfortunately till now,
she's now so happy with her friends.
And even now, heard she has a crush
on someone else.
That was pretty fast.
Was her feelings when we
were together real?
I still remember her saying
it was the first time
she was really really fallin
in love.
I felt happy for that.
We were chattin like we
were really so into each other.
All the really funny jokes we made,
S....I..G...H...
i really miss those jokes.
Whenever we were bored,
we would sms each other.
I guess we sms each other 24/7.
We would ask each other to
go online, pushing each other around.
Wonder how all these could just
be blown away in just
one glimpse of an eye.
How i wish i could talk to her
right now.
She can't imagine how badly
i miss her right now
That cheerful look on her face
makes me jealous.
Though we're in different
institutions right now,
which was supposed to be a
good thing for couples who
had just went separate ways,
i just miss her so much.
She made me so happy..
till i even placed my student
council tie and position
on the DM's table with no regrets.
I did all that for her.
Not that she wanted me to,
i wanna spend my time with her,
rather than going round the school
capturing victims of regulations.
Now i'm bringin it all out.
WAJIHAH!!! HOW CAN I GET U
TO EVEN TALK TO ME!!!???
Please..just by talking to u,
it would make me really happy..
no strings attached..
please..please.. ='(
God..

On my way home from SYFC,
I was bus service no 963.
There was also a girl, i can't
really tell her age.
Perhaps my age? Haha.
Ok, time for description.
She was so so fine, broke my mind.
She was really pretty and
dressed up well.
One thing she's hotzz..haha
Ok, it's so random that i'm
posting about this.
I just feel like posting. Haha.
Today was parents teachers day
at SYFC.
Parents were given joyrides and
tours around the club/school.
I managed to see the aircraft
that my parents boarded
which is Oscar-Mike.
I wonder how will my parents'
reactions be?
My mum would definitely be
screaming at the top of her lungs.
My dad..hmm..i don't know.
I ought to ask my mum about him.
Haha..well, i gotta go now. Bye.

There is one thing I wish to forget about.
She's a nice person in my eyes.
And I've been carrying a torch for her
ever since we were separated.
I've always thought that we are meant
to be together again, maybe someday.
But after getting something clear,
I guess we will never be together again.
She will go away from me, very far away.
We might never meet in the future.
That would be a sad thing for me.
I wanted to move on but..sigh..
Just last night, i dreamt of her.
Recalling, i was in a classroom sitting
right next to her.
We were talking to each other as if
we're bestest of friends.
When it was time for me to go,
i bid her farewell and walked off.
Of course, my dream wasn't this short,
it was much longer.
Never mind, maybe it's best if i keep
it to myself.
I just wish that we would be like before.

I had my sortie 1 today.
It was my first flight.
Nervous and afraid I was.
Instructor showed me
the external checks.
Quite easy I must say.
Boarded the piper and
strapped in.
Throttle open.
Test brakes.
My reflexes were somehow
insensitive to orders.
I was screwed.
Frankly, i did not even know
how much must I step the
rudder brakes, etc.
I was asked to taxy to whiskey 1.
It didn't went smoothly.
My inst. scolded me and
lectured me like hell.
When airborne, I was shown the
checkpoints.
I screwed up in some parts too.
Damn..my mind was really somewhere
else today.
Finally, my inst. did some
beyond-extraordinary manoveures
and stunts: beyond positive and negative
3G. That was really beyond limits la.
My body couldn't really take it.
I actually wanted my inst. to stop it.
But it's my dream, why not get over it?
I managed to fight it..yippie.
after landing..my taxying back to the
dispersal was better.
Even my inst. complimented me.
Really felt relieved.
After debrief, i know most of the things
that i'm supposed to know.

I've just completed my Sim 1 today.
I was really a noob.
I didn't even know how to
operate the flaps. (Now i know)
I was really an idiot la.
We're supposed to pull the lever
back a bit and the depress the button.
I foolishly tried to depress the button
without doing the first step.
At first i thought i wasn't strong enough.
Then it would be very hard for me
when i'm in a real aircraft. Haha.
I also had mental block.(wonder if it's
spelled correctly)
I had practiced my checks really
carefully.
The moment i entered the visually
manipulated machine, everything
was gone.
I had to refer to the FRC.
I felt that i left a damn bad impression
on Mr Hi(the sim instructor).
But he's really a nice guy.
Glad to have him as our instructor. =)
Wish me the best.

A/C: Skylark ops, skylark 89 radio check
ATC: Skylark 89, skylark ops read you strength 5, number 1 for taxy
A/C: Skylark 89 strength 5, number 1 for taxy
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Cool ain't it?
You don't really understand it, right?
This is less than 10% of what i've
learnt during the 3 to 4 weeks of
being in SYFC.
This is radio telephony.
I'm really thankful that i was
accepted to be one of the youths
in SYFC.
It's been a great journey.
Everytime we are having lectures,
we could hear the sounds of
engines that are gradually pumping
fuel.
It's really cool.
And we would gather at the room window
to witness the aircrafts taking off,
and landing too.
Some of my course mates have boarded
their first flights.
I'm just patiently waiting for mine.
I'm gonna work hard to get through
phase 1, and then all the way to PPL course.
MUAHAHA!!! =)

I really feel very sad
and deeply depressed.
I read a source online,
and learned that the
person that i've been
sort of carrying a torch
for, has a crush with
some other guy...
I don't blame her.
I'm just sad because
i'm surprised i don't
even exist to her anymore.
But everyday, every minute,
i feel her presence and her
heart beating.
She still exists to me.
I'm not gonna cry again.
I'm turning 17 this year.
Reaching adult stage.
I gotta put these things
aside for now.
My studies..
My ambition..
I have to settle these first.
I hope my next love, would
appreciate my love,
would always care for me,
would understand me,
and would always be with me,
which would be after i
achieved my dream.
Sigh.. ='(

I had physics extra lesson this morning,
from 0900 to 1000.
Actually, it wasn't even a lesson.
Just to give out our physics test.
Sadly, i failed. I hate the feeling, man.
I got 6 of 25.
It was really badly done.
Most of my classmates got higher,
as though the paper was an easy one.
However, at the sight of my test results,
instead of pulling me down, it brings me up.
I have the motivation to study harder
and do better for the subject that i'm
expected to get good grades.
As the bell rang, everyone stood
with joy as though we had just finished
our A levels. Haha.
After that, me and my classmates sat down
at the cafe to decide on the next
destination.
After much decisions, we went to bukit timah
to have our breakfast at Al-Azhar.
Foods were quite appetizing.
We generally ate similar foods: Roti Prata.
We then went to I.R.C to play pool.
Honestly, i've improved. Haha.
Though my posture looks really 'noob',
my shots were somehow quite accurate.
I really had fun at the I.R.C.
Whenever our shots didn't reach
the destination, we accused one another
of putting a curse.
We soon dominate the whole area. Haha.
2 hours of hitting balls with sticks, we then
headed for Soehendra's house for the
07S29 Winning Eleven Championship.
I lost at the second round. =(
Cuz i was assigned to Germany,
which I thought is a very strong team
but ironically, it isn't.
The players are damn slow ah.
I kept asking them to run in front,
but they just dilly-dallied.
Felt like smacking their faces.
But i'm no sore loser.
I guess i wasn't strong and skilful enough.
Reached home around 1920,
Aimi signing out.

Boycotted went to alvron 2 days ago,
which was a sunday
It's been a few months since we last
jamm'ed at alvron
for a few reasons.
The equipments are inadequate,
amps suck, they do not open on time,
equipments are also faulty and they
do not do anything about it though
we consulted them.
Lastly, the 3 drums do not have
double pedal.
We thought that alvron has changed.
Me and farid arrived there at 12.50
and gosh, they still had not opened.
They're still the same, man.
After we paid, my friends said that
the double pedal is faulty.
When i checked it, the linkage was
broken.
Ali called for the lady who served us
but she didn't do anything about
the goddamn pedal.
Soon after, another lady came into
our room and asked us to change
to another room simply because there
was an 'ang-moh' band who wanted the
room so badly.
Fuck off ah..who cares if they're 'ang-moh'.
But my friends insisted on going to the next
room. It was really a bad day.
However, we still enjoyed jammin.
We screamed, moshed, etc.
But still, the amps still suck like hell.
I prefer yishun or masala.
*My vocal pitch has improved..
Overall, my vocal has improved
and i'm proud of it. Haha..

Hi guys..below is an extraction from a bulletin in my friendster. I've decided to post on it because I have a disapproval of something.

" Guys...realize that the girl holdingonto u..
is PERFECT in her own special way.
The way she laughs..
The way she sleeps..
The way she loves you..
The way she tries to please you...
Always remember that.
She can always get up and walk away,getting someone else who can love hermore.
For all you know,there is someone out there wooing her already,
but she is rejecting,
a maybe perfect love for her..
There might also be someone out there..
who is willing to love her more than you are loving her now,
fufill her every need and love her as much as she loves you.
Understand that.
Imagine this, guys.When you are holding her today...
and then you cheat on her by hugging and kissing another gal.
and then you run back to her...
and u do the same....
but you see love in her eyes...
What do you think?
Do you feel the hurt?
Can you feel the guilt?
She loves you not because you are good looking,
have money,buy her things,make her parents happy,
or that you have a car.
She loves you for who you are.
Your every touch,
every word you say,
everything you do.
Guys, cherish and appreciate your girl.
Don't break her fragile heart.
She is the only one who can love you that way.
You won't wanna regret letting go of that special girl you have.
For everything she has done for you,
the least you can do is to give her unconditional love as she has given to you.
Girls and guys... if you agree withthis,
repost this just so that everyone can read this and appreciate their girls more. "

I truly agree with this bulletin. I did what's right for every girlfriend I have. I had only 2 exs, and for the both of them, i treat them like they are going to be with me forever. I shower them with love. I tried my best not to do anything that will either hurt her or make her drift away from me. But somehow, the opposite happened..at least for one of them. I have a good question to this, WHAT if it was the girl who never appreciate the guy for everything that he has done for her? Who's at fault?

Tired..

I'm just tired of everything right now.
Tired of going out with people who don't even
value friendship.
Why can't they just stop and think for a moment.
You think i'm doing all these for fun?
Think again..
We seldom see each other, agreed..
Then why can't you all just spare some time
for a simple thing to maintain our friendship.
I just don't understand this fucking mind of yours.
When you all organize something, i turned up.
Though that is the busiest day of my life, i turned up.
Though my family is going out on that day, i turned up.
I cherish the friendship.
I've put everything aside for friends,
you know that..
This is what friends are for?
To hell with that..moronic idiots.
You just think for yourselves.
Well, like the saying, comes new ones, throws old ones.
This is what they are doing now.
They don't feel a thing at all.
I will never go out with these people
cuz i'll always be tired..always.
Even if i'm not, i'll make sure i will
make myself tired so that i can't go.

I don't want to listen to people telling me their life or love stories. I want people to listen to what i've got to say. I'm a man of few words but there's just too much to express inside here. I don't know who to talk to. Even if I manage to find a suitable person to talk to, they could just give me advice which has been repeated over and over again by many different people. The name of the secondary school girl, her face, her smile which makes her cute..and she always make herself look dumb. I still can remember most of the things that i adore about her. The question still lingers in my mind, disrupting the flow of the things that i've learnt in school. Sometimes i wanna seek help from her friends but i'm afraid they might be reluctant to help me. I wonder if i'm still in her mind. If i still exist to her. Did she ever think of me? Did she ever recall the times we had? I just love her so much, i can't deny that. BUT WHY IS OUR BOND MOMENTARY!!? I HATE IT!!!

Aargh.. next wednesday..some of the guys in my class will be having a Winning Eleven Tournament. We have carried out the votes. I got Germany. At first thought, i thought Germany is a great and strong team. But just now, I went to my friend's house to play winning eleven and chose Germany. That was the worst team i've ever played. Players are slow though they're on form. Like, what the hell!! How am I gonna win?

Can somebody save me?
My SYFC syllabus is getting tougher.
What i mean is,
there's a lot to learn.
My performance must be
up to the standard..
for every flight, i must get
at least a 5.
Else, i'll be phased out at the end of phase 1.
I can't let that happen.
This is my dream, man.
I must work my way up to PPL course,
which is even worser.
WAIT!!!
I still have my academics in JC.
ARRGHH!!!
What the hell is all these?
The SYFC syllabus will take up
a year of my life.
And JC homeworks are piling up.
Dust is beginning to settle down.
MYE is around the corner,
Promo is slowly approaching me too.
What do I have to do?
I think i'll have to go the beach
alone and admire the prevailing wind,
the sound of birds and the horns of
huge cargo ships.
The sea water whispering into my ears,
giving me motivation to work harder.
Saying that i only have less than 2 years
to obtain a great A level certificate.
To end it, watch the sun sets..
That would be so so great.

I received news from my fellow pal, Ali only a few minutes after I reached home. I was very shocked to hear what he had to say. I do not wish to state the name of the deceased or anyone related to him/her. It was my first time hearing such a thing. I was sad of course. The affected, was really a good friend to us. He had lost one of his family members. I called darryl to ask him along as we were going to visit our friend, but he was already on his way to the indoor stadium so he couldn't come along. It was really sad, i don't how to explain but it's just sad. Most of us would not be able to stand it if one of our family member passes away. Though we always quarrel with our siblings but their absense will make a big difference to our lives. We will become lonely. Ali, Farid and I met up at the lrt station and went to the funeral together. We could hear prayers being sung. The melody was already making us sad. We waited patiently for our friend and he came to us after he was done. We confronted him and chatted. Though he was smiling, i could sense that he was actually feeling depressed in the dark. He then had to help out again and we waited till 10.30 for him. He wanted to introduce us to his family and so he did. We shook hands saying we're really sorry for their loss. I only managed to see the head and hair of the deceased. We then told him words of motivation. We bid farewell to our friend and family and went home. We'll always be there for you. =)

I don't think I can cope with my homework like I used to, when I was in secondary school. DUH!! Of course, the level of education is now higher in JC. I can't slack very much now. There's much to cover. My main concern is Math C. I know almost nothing about A math. I mean, of course i know differentiation, a bit of logarithm. But i just seem to be having difficulties on some parts. Trigo, etc. I have to sleep late at night to do my assignments and wake up early in the morning to go to school. The workload is just too intense for me to handle. Plus, now that i've been selected for YFC, this adds to my workload. My god, i'm gonna be dead soon. White hair will start growing, which i pray really hard i won't get one, and pimples too. If you read this entry, please pray for me that i would succeed in JC. Thanks. Out.

I've been having a hard time. I just miss her and i wanna spend time with her for the last time. I know it's been a long time but that weird feeling still lives in me. She's just..erm..i dunno. Nice? I heard she's moving house. It looks like she's very willing to leave. I'm kinda sad of course. But i just wish someday, she'll let me spend some time with her, chit-chatting..eating together..watch movie..go to the library..play pool.. It would be fun. But question, would she wanna go out with me?

Something happened to me yesterday. Ms Annie from SYFC. There's the sad news and quite good news. Let's start off with the bad news shall we? Well the bad news was, she said I'm at the border line which means, there is a possibility that i may be rejected. Of course i was upset upon hearing that. Is it because of the interview or some personal stuff? Moving on to the 'quite good' news, she asked me if i'm really interested in this course. Obviously it's a YES. She kept pestering me if i'm sure of it. Eventually she said okay. On top of that, she said my orientation will be on the 28 April. I wonder if it was true. Should I wait for the letter or what?

We had PJ amazing race today..me and three of my classmates represented Nobel, which is currently, last position. Our mission is to bring Nobel up the scoreboard. Our mission was nearly accomplised. You wanna know why? During the first 3/4 of the race, we were very spirited. We wanted to get to our destination really quickly and be the first. We were competing with one of the teams from Byron. They were super great. They were smart and well-organized. The other Byron team, which i heard from my friends, cheated during the race. They took the cab, which is not allowed. We thought Vivo City was the last destination. So as soon as we arrived at harbour front station, we chiong towards the last floor of Vivo City where the pool is located. I didn't wanna do it at first but cuz of determination to win, i had to. We ran as fast as we could, exceeding the limitations. I can say, many were pissed off with us. We found out that it wasn't the last station. All our internal and external energy were used up. Then it started to rain. That was where the source of our problem arose. It was raining, and we had to stop what were doing. This clearly gave the others who were behind us the advantage to arrive. I hope you know what I'm trying to say. In the end, all the groups had gathered at the last level. We were demoralised because of that. The teachers and station masters didn't even do anything about it. Furthermore, we were really exhausted due to the thoughtless usage of energy when we ran from harbour front to vivo. We really did a lot of running and patches of blood could be seen on my chest. Now i'm having difficulties in breathing. Everytime I breathe in, my heart aches..it was so painful. Eventually, we got the 5th position out of 17. We were the first Nobel group. Our greatest achievement was, we managed to overtake the Byron, who had been ahead of us for a number of stations.

One more thing, i was so glad that she took part in this race. Seeing her beautiful and sweet face..at least it gave me the motivation to go on. Haha. I kept glancing at her secretly. It was dumb, really. I guess i'll end here. I'm outta here.

I'm just fucking fed-up with everything, esp with my sis. Doesn't she have any manners? She call me, her fucking brother who is obviously older than her, by my name. That's the first issue. Second, she uses my fucking stuff without seeking my approval or permission. I can't bring myself to shout at her at the top of my lungs, wasting my breath, and every word i said enters her right ear and escapes through the left. Lucky i have a blog where i can express what I feel, without the burden of limitation. I don't care, i've tolerated enough. She uses the pc, always, very very damn fucking long..and never give a thought about others. Everytime i return home from school, she's always sitting moronically in front of the monitor doing her stupid, unnecessary, nonsensical stuff. And now, she uses my e-notebook. I just feel like punching her in the face. I don't care, i'm gonna set a password for my e-notebook, since my siblings always take advantage of patience. I'm outta here..

How can this happen to me? I just feel like saying the word FUCK!! for at the end of most of my sentences. I was in badminton during PAE and i quit because i wanted to try other CCAs. When JAE started, i was thinking of joining badminton again. I went for the fucking trials in school yesterday. I went through the first trial. And for the second trial, i think i did great. At least 98% of my shots landed on the destination i wanted. Last section was serving. All my serve were successful especially my short serve. Then, the fucking moronic guy said, 'Thank You'. My fucking foot!!! Even my friends were damn shocked when I told them I didn't make it. I'm not being boastful but confidently speaking, I have what it takes to be a badminton player..I have the basic necessities of being one. One last words..TO HELL YOU FUCKING MORONIC PATHETIC IDIOTIC PIONEER JC BADMINTON TEAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.. Gosh, this really eases me. I was hoping to get into badminton as a backup, in case I'm not accepted into SYFC. Now my only hope is..to get into SYFC. I can just pray that i'll be accepted. I don't know what's left to do i don't get SYFC.

Why is it that everytime I'm in the midst of forgetting someone or something..unpredictable things happen. Is this what you call fate or destiny or whatever you call that. Talking about a particular girl here. We do have a history but not a long one. I can't even glare at her name cuz i would definitely think of her which will affect the process of me forgetting her. What happened was, someone called my hp yesterday and i was away. When i took my hp realised that the caller was actually someone whom I never expect to call. It was her. It really was strange. She would have deleted my number by now. At night, i sms her asking whether she called me. Surprisingly, she replied. It was surprising because she didn't reply all my messages in the past. Yesterday, she just did. On second thoughts, it couldn't be her. Why would she? It could be her siblings or even parents. I guess i'm quite satisfied now, cuz she finally replied to my message after such a long time. I'm at ease now. =)

Yesterday, there was 4C bbq. Hailiang invited me over but i felt reluctant man, cuz it was some other class's reunion. On the other hand, i wanted to go..haha..I brought along one of my pals, sooraj. Reached there, i thought me and sooraj were the only 4A there but, there were others who were non-4C people. It was a 4C reunion and at the same time, FFC reunion. Haha. Let me tell you, i was the one who did the bbq-ing. It's just fun to bbq, play with fire, butter, honey.. The chicken wings, sausage, prawns..were irresistable. The chicken wings were perfectly marinated. I've always liked 4C bbq cuz they are experts in these stuff. The food turned out to be damn yummy..with the combination of honey and butter. I wish i could have bbq with them again. Heard we'll be having one bbq every semester. That's kinda cool..it'd be great. Me, darryl, jingyi, ali, atie, and syarikin..we left at 1045 and headed for lot 1 instead..to play pool. Haha. As a beginner, i think i've improved. I'm beginning to hit and aim, and kiss and slice and hop, etc. My trademark: Kiss of the dragon and Kiss of the rose. Haha. It's pretty lame, i know..but funny. Finished the whole thing at 1 plus in the morning. No night rider, we took the taxi. Reached home, went to the toilet, wash up and to the bed..sleep..zzzzz..

ATTENTION !!!

The name 6 Feet Under has officially been owned by another band. We cannot be called 6 Feet Under anymore.

Who am I closest to of all my friends? It'd definintely be my band, 6 FEET UNDER. Because when i'm with them, we can talk about anything, joke about anything, and be serious about anything. It is always with my band, whenever i vent my anger. Not really vent my anger on them, vent my anger by the way i play my role when jamming. So I hope this band will always remain.

Today was ultimately fun. Lessons end at 1230 for me so some of 4A students who are in pjc, we went to bpp to have our lunch at long john. But i didn't go there with them, i met them there cuz i had to redeem something at the singpost for my dad. When we're done eating, we talked and joked. Actually the moment i finished my last lesson, i asked jingyi whether she wanted to go to dael's house later that day. She was afraid that dael might think she self-invited herself so i told her not to worry cuz darryl wouldn't mind. By the way, jingyi is always with the band. She's always been with us when we jamm. I regarded her as a sister of the band. Haha. She's in the loyalty list FYI. She wanted to meet up before making our way to dael's place. So we met up. Arrived at dael's house, wah, it was really fun. Played some songs, watch videos, relax, etc. Jingyi wished to learn the typical instruments that are used in a band such as guitar and drums. She's really a cool girl, in a sense, she's very sporty and always ready to learn new things, and daring things too. I asked dael to teach her instead but we kept pin-pointing each other. Eventually, both of us taught her some basics. I pretended like a teacher, haha. Dael was in charge of the admin stuffs. Jingyi is a fast learner. I believe she'll be able to master the basics in no time. At around 7, we made our away, with dael, to bpp to have our dinner at MAC. We talked about recent stuff. Dael had to go to his badminton training, jingyi home and me home too. So we went separate ways.

Well, i have a classmate whose name is Eunice Lacaste. You can see that she's a philippino from her name. She's really a nice person to talk to. But i'm starting to feel that i'm really gonna miss everyone in 4A, and also my west spring schoolmates whom i'm close with. We all have different aims, dreams and ambitions. We talked about hot topics like political, etc. She told me her dream and i told her mine. I told her that it's almost impossible to pursue my dream and she advised me not to be afraid of pursuing my dream. How hard it may be, nobody can stop me from reaching my destination. I gotta try my very best. And you know what, that really affected me. This goes to everyone. Do your very best if you wanna achieve your dreams. I feel so sad having to go separate ways. I hope one day, we might be able to meet again. Let's cherish friendship till the end of time.

I really have nothing to post about thus, i decided to post about lady celebrities whom i admire. Let's magnify on singers. She won the American Idol title the season before the previous. Her name is Carrie Underwood. Woohoo!! Haha. I admire her because she's quite beautiful and hot. Everyone would definitely like her. When you see her picture below, i think you will know why.

This is only one of her thousand pictures. Haha..

Let's look at my favourite hollywood celebrity. Those who know me well should know. I'm a crazy fan of Jessica Alba. She's hot don't you agree? She's really really hot. I would like to watch the fantastic four but always forgot about it. Sigh. It's ok. Besides that, she's cute too. Her sweet smile and that will melt every living man. Well, here's her picture.

Well, I think I should end my post here. I'm outta here.

Do I still love her? Do I still have feelings for her? After i've been away from her for almost a year and a half. I have always wanted to sms her but i just can't. We're nothing to each other now. But still feel that she's still a part of me. Whenever i receive her message, i feel that we're still together. The laughter and happiness and agony we shared in the message. Should I convey this message to her? Should I tell her my feelings? But something's holding me back. Something's just not right. What should I do?

Risen Vengeance ? Risen Jeopardy ?

So will it be the Risen Vengeance or Risen Jeopardy? I think that it is time for me to present a name for myself, for band purposes. It is time for me to get an identity. It's because in a band, i guess using our original names won't sound cool. We may not be an official band but why not just pretend as if we are? Haha. By pretending, it will somehow make us feel better when jamming. Spent time during the most and extremely boring orientation figuring and putting words together to make a name. A name that when people hear of it, flicker of fear that will send chills up their spine. Haha. Of course not. I just wanna make a name that sounds extravagant when people hear of it and, that they are eager to know who i really am. I came up with names like, Silent Agony, Fatal Attraction, Fallen Justice, etc. Well, time's up. It is time for me to excuse myself. Outta here.

It just feels like 3 months haven't pass by. The time we had to foster class bond is really inadequate. And now, we have to part(at least for some). It feels sad you know, some of my classmates said that they're going somewhere else. It was like they never really cherish the friendship. Yeah, i may sound emotional cuz that's true. Anyway, i've decided to upload some of the pictures we took together. =)