..

I guess this is the only
way i can express out.
And i'm sure you will
be able to read.
To be frank, i've had
enough stirring troubles
in your life.
I made it worse.
Your mum knows you've been
smsing me.
under these circumstances,
it's time for us to forget
each other.
Even if you have to destroy
the love, i encourage u
to DO IT..
There's no way out, wajihah.
It's pre-destined.
There's no opportunity
for us to meet, to talk..
i have no other choice,
this is my last resort.
I'm so sorry... ='(

thinkin of you always..

..took me some time
of my life to create
this mixture of many
elements.
I kinda got used to
photoshop.
N i'm familiar with it.
I even had to steal some
pics frm someone..hehe.
would like to apologize
for that.
Jangan marah hah..

15.06.2006

well, erm..today i had
history lesson, my
whole class.
We were only 1 and 1/2
chapters away and we've
finished the whole
history syllabus.
And of cuz, we finished it.
It was held in the auditorium
and we all got cold aft some time.
We asked Mr Singh tt we're cold.
He was, too..haha.
He din have his hp with him
at tt time so he borrowed my
friend's to call the G.O.
to increase the temp. of the
aircon.
We ended at approximately 12.
Tt was kinda early.
I walked frm sch to cashew rd
cuz we were playing soccer
in a condo.
that's where my fren lives.
Since it was early,
i walked there along with
sooraj and faiz.
Faiz lives in fajar so on the way,
he went home.
So me n sooraj walked to the condo.
We were so tired.
Arrived at the condo, we sat
down to rest.
All the express classes, ABC,
came and Mr Prakash too.
I was wearing a shoe, not meant
for soccer, so i had to take it out.
The ground was damn rough,
and it cut my foot.
I had blisters, many of them.
I can't even walk properly.
It was so painful u noe.
I had to limp, like handicap.
haiz..
no sms today,
everything was silent.
kept looking at my hp,
bt it was useless.
She can't sms nor call.
hp has been taken away
by her mum, like i've said
in the previous post.
It all happened so fast.
wish i could call her.
what to do..haiz..
suddenly, i miss her.
it's just one day we din
sms, it's like one yr to me.
i hope u'll retrieve ur hp soon.
i love u.

situation has worsened..

i realised smth since
i befriended her.
Bad things just happen
to her..haiz.
Phone bills went up,
sometimes her stuffs
are confiscated by her
protective parents.
She's always reprimanded.
and all the stuff.
I just can't stop sighing.
As the 'love' grows,
more problems arose.
I think we're nt meant
for each other.
It's like we're going against
fate.
All along, i thought u were
the one who would end my
misery, sadness, etc.
I want u to be the one.
Symptons have showed up
tt what i've been thinking
might nt be true.
I just dunno what to do.
Things tt i've planned,
and things tt we plan,
seem not to work at
the 11th hour.
I'm so sorry, wajihah.
For causing all the bloody
troubles in ur life.
I've worsened ur family ties.
i wana end all these once and
for all.
I wan u to lead a peaceful life.
the only way is,
......
to just forget abt each other.
haiz..
i nvr wanted to do this,
nvr intended to.
just wana tell u tt i'm
pretty upset and sad
writing this post.
I wish it nvr happened,
bt it did,
it just did.
haiz..

superman returns

yeah..superman is returning.
bt it's nt christopher reeves.
He's gone to hereafter.
One minute silence plz...

He's like the best person
hu could act as a superman.
bt wad a pity...
anyway, looking forward to this
superman returns movie.
here are some pics of the
new superman.

you people suck..

i haven't been happy
lately...nor was i sad.
I'm deeply stucked in
the middle of
happy and upset.
It's bcuz of everyone,
and everything that takes
place in my useless life.
Sometimes i wonder,
why was i born?
I noe this is religious matter,
i can't change tt.
My mum said tt,
ppl who are born in the month
of june are usually,
stubborn, bad, and all those
negative properties...
Maybe that explains my character.
I've been trying to change tt
destiny..
been trying reli hard.
I'm all to myself now.
no one's guiding me.
It's me, alone..
I have to determine my own
future, my life...
one wrong step, n
it's all f@#$^% over.
sometimes i feel that
i suck...i just duno why.
i would like to say..
i'm sorry, people..
if i'm hard or harsh on u guys.
I noe i'm a sensitive person,
one wrong word frm u can
change me..totally.
U people will turn cold
towards me aft tt.
u people will start to hate me,
will start to avoid me,
will stop caring for me,
will stop loving me,
will LEAVE ME.
THIS RELI SUCKS!!!!!!
I'm a spoilt child..
haiz..
so stay away frm me if
you want...
this goes to everyone.
i'm all alone now.
I dun need anyone.
I'll just die on no one's arms.

just a sigh to me...

I guess i'm the
black sheep of the
family.
If anyone among my
siblings incl me were to
be scolded,
i would be the one hu
would receive maximum.
Just bcuz i came home
late frm my fren's house,
last sat...my mum began to have
the cold shoulder towards me.
I dun exist to her..
sometimes i feel sad,
terribly..n i shouldn't have
fought back her words.
I know i was rude to her.
Just a lil info abt myself,
i will fight for what's right..
that's my character..
so i will fight back, be it using
words or anything...
Haiz...
Whatever she does,
she's still my mum..
i can't do anything.
What can i possibly do
to ease her?
I've been keeping to myself
lately cuz i dn wana
add oil to the hot fire.
I hope she forgives me..:(

Now, my sweetie is not
in s'pore..
she is the one hu would
be by my side in times
of problems...
She would make me happy,
make me smile..n ease my mind.
She's gone to kl with her family
for 5 days or later..
I just miss her..haiz..
there's no one in this world
hu has ever cared so much
for me, except her..
tt's why sometimes, she's
my sister and my fren..
Love has grown in m heart.
I hope tt love lasts till
i've reached my goal of life.
I wan to be with her all my life.
I noe it's very embarrassing
for a guy to weep..
cuz guy is supposed to be
the tough ones..
bt to me, guys have the
soft part too...n i'm
the emotional type.
I dunno what will be of me
if i hadn't met her..
Thanks alot, Allah...
for meeting me with
such a wonderful girl.
I'll nt do anything stupid that
is hated by Him.
I'll take good care of her n
will never disappoint her.

bad 'dream'.

i had a terrible dream
this morning...*sigh*
i noe it's crazy as in
it's unbelievable for u
ppl to believe.
I had a dream tt,
i was in a place, more
of a country, and
there were ppl shouting.
I din reli hear them shouting.
I saw fright and fear
in their faces,
each n every one of them.
One moment, i saw a huge
wave, brown colour,
it was damn high,
higher than the coconut trees.
Lucky i happened to be
beside a coconut tree.
The impact of the wave
was so strong tt my whole
body moved,
i could feel it, really.
Water was splashing at me,
gushing at me,
i grabbed the trunk reli
tight, din dare to let go.
I realised tt it was a
TSUNAMI..
i mean, how can i dream
of such things?
then when the situation calmed,
a bus came and everyone
rushed to get onboard, i did.
I arrived at one place,
like a bridge connecting
one island to another.
The bridge was built
very high, like the summit
of mount fuji.
Below, were high-rise
buildings.
I was shocked, really shocked..
The whole area was submerged
with water and big waves just
continue coming in..
And the depth was abt 30storeys?
for a moment, i thought i was
in singapore..
and i thought of my mum, my brother,
my family...
i became afraid.
I called my house bt nobody answered.
Something just din satisfy
my curiosity.
I woke up all of a sudden.
I din noe what happened next.
But it was horrific.
Could this be true?
Will it happen?
*sigh*..
it reli scared me..
i've never been scared
like that before...

Malay O' level>>>OVER!!!

YAY!!!
I've just finished my
malay O level paper.
Paper1, i can say
that it's acceptable.
Not so hard, but it
doesn't mean it's easy.
But i was happy aft
the first paper cuz
i think i did well.
We were given 10mins
break.
I din follow my frens to
the toilet.
U noe the platform where
prefects pull up the flags
outside the hall??
I sat there and reflect
on what i've done.
I studied my peribahasa
and minutes later,
paper 2 started.
I was freaking worried
and nervous too.
I already got it wrong
for the first q. SUCKS!!!
Actually i put the correct ans,
bt i changed it.
So stupid of me..
I can just pray to God
tt i'll get great grades
for malay.
Well, tt's it..ciao.

byd's over..

YES!! byd's passed..
i'll concentrate on
the major war right now..
this coming monday is
my malay O level paper..
Almost every one of my
teachers want us to get
A1 for it..
cuz once it's over and we
get A1,
we have 1 subject less
to concentrate on
for october's papers.
June holidays are coming..
and nope,
no holidays for us...
my schedule is tight, man.
With lessons in the first
2 weeks.
Lucky my teacher understands
us and arranged tt
we go to kelong on the last
wk of the month.
Kelong is sort of a house on
water..not reli on water..
there's a support underneath.
We'll be staying there for
a few days..
having seafood as our meal..
YAY!!! prawns, lobster,
and not to forget..
SOTONG!!!! HAHA...
WATCH OUT SOTONG,
I'M GONNA EAT U SOON!!!

..

nothing better to do also...HAHA!!!


Just a little smth
from me..
I'm in a band,
now called,
"BOYCOTTED"



We were once called
ROCK-EX.. But we've
changed the name for now.
Before we permanently
set the name of our band,
we asked alot of ppl
about it..
Some even asked if
boycotted is an
american band..
We laughed so hard abt it..
Majority praised abt the name.
So BOYCOTTED it is..
It is our dream to perform,
we are musicians..enthusiasts..
We are hoping to perform
during BE-YOURSELF-DAY.
I hope our wish will be granted.
Mdm Hasnah's on it..
We even promised tt
we would concentrate
on our O's aft that..
no more games, no more
crap..just study and revise.

Well, i gtg now..
cya.bye.

...

nothin' better to do...
I decided to post pictures
taken with my dad's hp..
of cuz i din take the pic..
it was my sis who took it.





taken by me with my hp.
Cool huh?? It's like
dragonball..(Goku)haha..>

BIO UPDATED

BIO UPDATED!!!

greatest time..

Today i went to lot1
cinema to watch a movie
called, 'Over The Hedge'
with my dearest wajihah..
Arrived at lot1,
went straight to the last floor
and bought ourselves
2 tickets for the movie.
I can say that the movie was
kinda cool..the gadgets were
awesome. But it ain't that funny.
*haha*..
She was freezing though
she wore a sweater..haha..
What kind of a sweater is that?
A sweater that doesn't keep
people warm?? Haha..
That's not a sweater...haha..
Although the movie emphasized
more on the cheerful parts,
there were still emotional parts..
Some were so sad..i became sad too.
Honestly speaking, the music made
me sad..
Technology has advanced and
the characters were as though
they're for real..splendid!!!
Overall, i would rank the show,
7/10..
After the show, went to a
souveneir shop, i guess..
i dunno the name of the shop la..
I asked for her help...to choose
the teddy bear she likes..
She CHOSE!!! I thought it'd
be a hard time for me to force her
but she was easy at that time..
Don't select those non-cuddle
one la..it's useless if u choose those..
i told her that..haha..
I'm not very rich..that's my savings
But i dun mind, i can always save again.
She gave a sweet smile after choosing
the perfect teddy bear..haha..
she's so cute...!!!
awwwwWWw...haha
the teddy bear is a token
of appreciation from me for
keeping me company since the
day i met her..for showering me
with warmth i've nvr felt..
Thanks alot!!
I'm reli grateful to God for
meeting me with her..
I reli had a great time
with her all these while.
I pray that we will still be
together no matter what,
esp in the future..
I love u always...=)

18 May 2006...

today during CD period,
we had to do a survey
regarding NE..
there were 60qns and i was
damn lazy to shade..
I kinda scan thru and shaded..
Since we still had a lot of time,
my form teacher, Mr Singh
decided to talk to the whole class..
regarding our stands in our studies..
He gave a couple of advices.
He said, forget abt all this love stuff
which i find quite makes sense.
Suddenly, i was struck with guilt.
I just dunno why..it was as though
he was talking abt me..
He also said, treat those who
don't wana study like ur worst
enemy..
Not reli ur enemy where u have
to beat ur enemy up..
His trademark was, "See you in December.."
and "I'll only talk to u in December.."
Say those quotes to those who
don't wana study..
Why? Cuz O level has finished by then...
The more he lectured, the more
desperate i become to get 7A1s..
It's my life, my future...it's
everything to me.
My life would be meaningless if
i nvr meet my target.
*Mr Singh, although the rest hate
u, I'm proud to have u as my teacher..
You always want the best for us.
You want us to lead a happy life, I know..
I'll do my best.. =)"

i'm confident i can do it..

Yes!!!
I'm just too happy
to see improvements
in my results..
subjects tt i used to get
bad results such as
maths, physics, etc..
I'm sure by august,
my maths would be
better, i must get at
least an A2 for maths.
For physics, hmm...
A1?? I kinda like
physics now..
probably cuz i read
'angels and demons'
and 'digital fortress'..
These 2 bks were written
by Dan Brown..
Physics theory are included
in his books, that's why i like
it. The more i read, the greater
my interest for physics..
I'm on my quest to finding
my dream..
Dream..o..dream, where are u?
Oh, it's not here..
Maybe i'll find it, perhaps
few yrs later..or
the moment i receive my
O' level results..
this is smth im impatient of.
MOCK is over...the purpose of
MOCK is to let us feel the
environment when sitting
for O' level papers..
Some papers like maths, woah..
u have to sit down, studded to
ur chair for 2 long hrs..
my neck was so painful...
but i just carried on.
Anyway, i got used to it already.
Klah, gotta go..meeting my fren
to play soccer at my other fren's
house.. Wish me all the best for
O' levels.. =)

the exam n love menace...

a few wks to O levels'
but before i reach that level,
i have to undergo a couple
of obstacles..
i mean exams like MOCK
and PRELIM.
If i can't pass these exams,
hell i wun be doing well for
O levels..
PSLE has long passed,
comes another major one.
*sigh...*
what disturbs me most,
1)* thinking of her
2)* studies
These 2 things..i've been
having a hard time with.
though i'm nt in a relationship
with her, my love is like no1
can ever imagine..she's
permanently riveted in my mind
and my heart too..
I tried once..not to sms her..
but in the end, i suffered...alot.
I'm on the verge of getting stucked.
If i focus on her, wad abt my studies?
my future?
If i decided to leave her, and
focus on my studies...
will she be alone?
wait a min, not reli rite?
She still has her frens..
they're gd frens, who nvr fail
to cheer her to insanity..
Wad am i in her life?
Just a cornered guy, perhaps??
What will be the results if i tell
her that it's over between us??
that i'm chasing for my dream,
not for a girl..
What will be the results if i
tell her that we shud stop
smsing each other..
She still has her exams
and has 2 more yrs before
ending her secondary life..
i shud be discouraging her
to be engaged in all this
love stuff..
i shud be doing what her
parents have always wanted
for her..to study very hard.
God, plz enlighten me..
Show me the right path..
well..it's time for me to go.
Bye..*sigh*

level 1..accomplished

hmm...common tests,
it's over..
it's left with MT mock
exam..which is next friday.
Wish me luck..
I just need to buck-up my
chemistry..esp balancing eqns.
i feel that to know how to
balance equations,
is the heart of it.
Once u noe it well,
everything would be simple
for u to get As..
I'm just so happy that
i dun have any burden
anymore..i mean,
tests..
Anyway, i reli had a moody day
today.. i headed for pending
lrt station early..but then,
there was some major problem
with the bloody train.
I waited for almost 15mins..
By then, the platform was full
of commuters..
and the train was crowded..
i can hardly do my morning
exercise, man..
As i read my watch, (actually
i din have my watch at that time)
it was 0715h.
I rushed to school..hoping
that she's hopelessly waiting
for me under the hut.
It's totally my fault.
I should have followed my instincts.
to wajihah,
IM TERRIBLY SORRY!!!
I RELI MADE A FOOL OF U..
PLEASE FORGIVE ME..

damn pissed off, man..

*sigh*...
she's been going thru
pain all these while..
she's still a prey
to many students in sch.
But WHY?
Im sure she wun do such
things to hurt her
predators' feelings..
I noe her well and she's
not that kind of person..
What is it that those
bastards or bitches
want frm her??
Actually, i pity her..
She is already having
a hard time coping
with her personal
problems at home.
and now, she has to
cope with things in
school, how stupid..
Haiz...some ppl
just dunno when to
stop their nonsense.
Whatever it is, i'll
always support u
in fighting this "war".
approach me for
any help, im willing...

-to dearest wajihah..

inconsistent subject grades..

im darn happy to
find out that my math
grade improved drastically.
from C6 to B4 to A2..
was it just LUCK???
or my all-time hard effort??
anyway, what matters is
i improved.. =)
here comes the worse part..
MY CHEMISTRY GRADES..
they FLOPPED..
arrgghh!!!!
i failed for the recent test..
29 out of 60..
i was so devastated, man.
all those equations,
elements, etc..
is driving me into insanity..
i dun care, i must
get it over with..
i must revise this subj
all over again, from level 1..
malay GCE O' level is around
the corner..
29May i guess.
mdm hasnah has been giving
us wkshts. So far i did
reasonably well but i need to
improve on it too..
What made my grades good,
is that IM HAPPY.
I dunno why, but i guess
it's the reason.
She makes me happy,
but sometimes sad too..
and not to mention,
angry and upset as well.
haha..but those are
actually happiness behind
each and every one of them,
and im so happy to have met her.
i feel blessed, i must say..
I LOVE U SOOOO MUCH.