I just love taking pictures of my shoe.

..REALLY STRESSED OUTTA HELL

I really feel helpless. This week is just a week of tests. I didn't have much time to prepare with all the homeworks piling up in less than a day. And i really regret because there those days that i got carried away when playing soccer. I shouldn't have played too long. I should have used those hours and minutes and seconds doing my homework, so by the time i reach home, i'll be able to revise my work without the burden of unfinished homework. So what shall i do now? I haven't revise for my geog test which is tomorrow. Furthermore, physics test the day after. Gosh..i just feel like not coming to school on both days. But, sigh, i just need to face the truth. Just write whatever i can recall for the tests. Alright, i'll study and do my homeworks after school tomorrow. No more playing..too much i mean. Hehe. Ok then, i'm out.

I'm really in a fuckin' bad mood today. I just can't find a reason why i didn't perform well with my predator. I kept losing possession easily. Am i really meant for predator or what? There is one other thing that i'm terribly pissed off with. You think it's funny? Playing with other people's sensitivity? Huh, fucker!? When i'm being serious, not putting a single fucking smile on my face, it means i'm fucking serious. There you were, pretending who you're not, giving me that fucked-up face. You know, it made me more pissed off. For once, i just wish i have the guts to give a one satisfying blow in your face. But i didn't. Cuz i know it would negatively affect our friendship and also how others think about me. My past was once an emotional one. If you could have the chance to stand in my shoes, get into my mind, flashback, you would know how much i've been through. Everyday i tried my best not to be too 'emo' and get sensitive over small matters. Most of the time, i can't and i failed. So if i ever make you guys rather pissed off with me, please, understand and try to bear with me. Alright? I'm out then.

Where on earth can i find a MODERN COMBAT FLIGHT SIMULATOR!!?? I'm tired of walking 'hundreds' of kilometres just to find what i want. Even in a huge shopping centre like causeway point, i can't find a MICROSOFT FLIGHT SIMULATOR X. I've checked IMM when i was out with my family a few weeks back. I found MFSX. But IMM is such an inconvenient place to go to. There's not even a public bus that leads me there. The only way is for me to take the train and alight at jurong east and then take the shuttle bus, which looks so silly. I guess i'll head for IMM tomorrow if i have the time..

I gotta stop being too emotional over something which seems so small to my friends. But to me, it seems a pretty much bigger matter. Now, most of my classmates call me as the emo-mo-mo boy. Everytime i keep quiet or thinking of other stuffs, somebody would definitely notice it and start their engine: "Eh suhaimi, don't emo ah." Sigh. It feels bad, man. But to those of my classmates who are reading this, don't worry. Though calling me an emo boy would, i think, drive me further from my eye-candies, it's ok. Let's have fun together, shall we? You call me emo, i call you emo. We call everyone emo.

It's been a long time since i last chatted with her. I think it's like 20 years? I'm just exaggerating by the way. The reason for this exaggeration is because, i've never really chatted with her for a long time. Even if we see each other in school, i just couldn't bring myself to talk to her or at least say hi or something. Sigh.

I could see what i want to see for my future. Everything was vivid. Everything that surrounds me was sophisticated. It was spacious and huge. But i couldn't see who the girl was, hehe. Anyway, it seems that in my 'imagination', i seem to have what i want. I seem to have a career that i've ever dreamt of. Now, what can ever give me the drive to keep myself on the track which leads to where i want to be. There are just a lot of distractions that i'll face everyday, especially sports and entertainment and relationship. My biggest problem is TIME. I always think that i'm capable of juggling and managing time well. I can play and study, and i'll still do well for my tests and exams. But now that i'm in J2, everything seems to have changed. I feel that i can't do what i usually do anymore. I can't fit everything into my daily schedule anymore. People have been talking about sacrifice. I thought it's a crap. But now, i think i have no choice but to really sacrifice: my laptop, fifa08, ghost recon, thinking of linhui, soccer, wasting time in school, etc. I really hope all these sacrifices would do me good. So aimi, here we go. Time for a lonely and solitude life.

I think i seriously like one of the girls in my school. I don't know how this feeling came to me. Everyday i see her in school, it makes me feel like i want to be with her. But i've thought further. I think she likes a friend of mine. Why i think so? That's because during the december holidays last year when we chatted online, she would associate one of the topics with my friend. Well, it's just an assumption. I just have inadequate courage to tell her how i feel about her. I think she's sweet though she doesn't have 100% to her looks. One thing, i'm afraid of the consequences the moment i tell her the truth. Will we be further apart, friendship i mean? Will she try to avoid me? A lot of unpredictable things could happen. So what on earth should i do? Should i just let it go? And regard this feeling as just lust amd crush? And that it's only temporary and will disappear in time? I don't know.

I just finished watching Man Utd's match against Newscastle United. And you know what, it was FUCKING SHIT!!! And i'm saying this in a good way. I was damn ecstatic with how Man Utd played. I'd say they played brilliantly during the second half of the game. Can you believe it, 6 goals in the second 45 minutes? That was fucking awesome. I was smiling throughout the game. I wanted to scream but afraid would wake my family up. Greatest thing that happened was, Ronnie played great and has gotten his first HAT-TRICK of the season. There you see it. Cristiano Ronaldo will always be the best player the world has ever seen. Who cares what others say. Unfortunately, Rooney's attempts on goal were always denied by his fate and of course, Shay Given. He was even kindly giggled at by Tevez. Haha. Besides that, i could see happy faces from the Man Utd players during the game. For example, Anderson and Giggs when they were substituted. They were smiling as if they had never smiled before upon leaving the pitch. Man Utd's defence was absolutely world class. They didn't even allow Newcastle Utd's players to enter or stand on Man Utd's quarter for more than 20 seconds. Overall, it was WORLD CLASS by Man Utd. Glory Glory Man Utd. Keep going on.

At High Velocity

At High Velocity

I'm beginning to feel a change in my attitude and behaviour. I think that it's gone for the worse. Words that i shouldn't be using to express myself are just conveniently spitting out of my mouth. It does satisfy me using those words, but now i realise that some people are rather upset or offended by them. I'm just afraid that they would change the way they feel about me. They would think i'm becoming a bad person. I don't want to be regarded as one. Sigh.. the only way to find a solution to this problem is to learn to control my emotions and my phrasings. Speaking of emotions, i'm more and easily getting emo now. I get frustrated and all vexed up over tiny-winny matters. I get pissed off with the people i see everyday. Well, of course not everyone. I even get easily pissed off with my friends. I feel really bad. What's gone into me? I really need someone who is patient enough and to observe me and to consistently giving me encouragement and words of wisdom.

I really feel guilty. I haven't been revising much during the holidays. Now, i totally forget about what i've learnt before the holidays. Now, i'm suffering like hell. Not knowing how to solve when i come across a simple integration question. Fuck off !!! I really need to pace up. A levels is just 7 months away, excluding the upcoming holidays. Stop procrastinating, damn it. Argh!!!

I feel so burdened up by all the things that happen to me. I'm facing a lot of choices to make, and it's not that easy to make that decision. Sometimes i just feel like screaming as loudly as i had ever did, straining my throat. I would be painful but it's worth it. I really don't know what to do with these problems.

Today was one of the most adventurous day of my life. Why? Because me, farid, zul and ziq went cycling towards woodlands from bukit panjang. Actually, not all of us rode the bike. Ziq skated in his roller blade. Of course, with some help from us. He just hold on to our bikes and he just needed to control the direction. Since it was his first time going on some adventurous journey, he fell quite a couple of times. Everything went smoothly but when we were in woodlands, he injured himself. On our way home, due to the really inclined slope..the bikes and of course, roller blade sped off, uncontrollably. Me and farid managed to control our bikes and enjoyed the high-velocity and fast wind. Unfortunately, zul and ziq did not. They somehow got stuck onto each other and lost balance, thus, both fell really hard. Anyway, this is inevitable. We will definitely learn something from these accidents. Like me when i first started riding on such journeys.

(sorry for the rotated cam)

Yesterday, me, farid and ziq went to Cathay house in Prinsep street to purchase tickets for AVP2(Alien vs Predator 2) which will be released today. We booked at 1500h today so those who wish to tag along, please do. Hehe. Anyway, since we had nothing better to do there, farid suggested we go to vivo city to witness the countdown performances. Actually, apart from that, we wanted to 'wash' his eyes too. Haha. Upon reaching there, you can't imagine how crowded that place was. We watched some pre-entertainment and enjoyed the view of sentosa and the small 'sea', taking pictures of the elegant yet beautiful sunset.