On my way home from SYFC,
I was bus service no 963.
There was also a girl, i can't
really tell her age.
Perhaps my age? Haha.
Ok, time for description.
She was so so fine, broke my mind.
She was really pretty and
dressed up well.
One thing she's hotzz..haha
Ok, it's so random that i'm
posting about this.
I just feel like posting. Haha.
Today was parents teachers day
at SYFC.
Parents were given joyrides and
tours around the club/school.
I managed to see the aircraft
that my parents boarded
which is Oscar-Mike.
I wonder how will my parents'
reactions be?
My mum would definitely be
screaming at the top of her lungs.
My dad..hmm..i don't know.
I ought to ask my mum about him.
Haha..well, i gotta go now. Bye.

There is one thing I wish to forget about.
She's a nice person in my eyes.
And I've been carrying a torch for her
ever since we were separated.
I've always thought that we are meant
to be together again, maybe someday.
But after getting something clear,
I guess we will never be together again.
She will go away from me, very far away.
We might never meet in the future.
That would be a sad thing for me.
I wanted to move on but..sigh..
Just last night, i dreamt of her.
Recalling, i was in a classroom sitting
right next to her.
We were talking to each other as if
we're bestest of friends.
When it was time for me to go,
i bid her farewell and walked off.
Of course, my dream wasn't this short,
it was much longer.
Never mind, maybe it's best if i keep
it to myself.
I just wish that we would be like before.

I had my sortie 1 today.
It was my first flight.
Nervous and afraid I was.
Instructor showed me
the external checks.
Quite easy I must say.
Boarded the piper and
strapped in.
Throttle open.
Test brakes.
My reflexes were somehow
insensitive to orders.
I was screwed.
Frankly, i did not even know
how much must I step the
rudder brakes, etc.
I was asked to taxy to whiskey 1.
It didn't went smoothly.
My inst. scolded me and
lectured me like hell.
When airborne, I was shown the
checkpoints.
I screwed up in some parts too.
Damn..my mind was really somewhere
else today.
Finally, my inst. did some
beyond-extraordinary manoveures
and stunts: beyond positive and negative
3G. That was really beyond limits la.
My body couldn't really take it.
I actually wanted my inst. to stop it.
But it's my dream, why not get over it?
I managed to fight it..yippie.
after landing..my taxying back to the
dispersal was better.
Even my inst. complimented me.
Really felt relieved.
After debrief, i know most of the things
that i'm supposed to know.

I've just completed my Sim 1 today.
I was really a noob.
I didn't even know how to
operate the flaps. (Now i know)
I was really an idiot la.
We're supposed to pull the lever
back a bit and the depress the button.
I foolishly tried to depress the button
without doing the first step.
At first i thought i wasn't strong enough.
Then it would be very hard for me
when i'm in a real aircraft. Haha.
I also had mental block.(wonder if it's
spelled correctly)
I had practiced my checks really
carefully.
The moment i entered the visually
manipulated machine, everything
was gone.
I had to refer to the FRC.
I felt that i left a damn bad impression
on Mr Hi(the sim instructor).
But he's really a nice guy.
Glad to have him as our instructor. =)
Wish me the best.

A/C: Skylark ops, skylark 89 radio check
ATC: Skylark 89, skylark ops read you strength 5, number 1 for taxy
A/C: Skylark 89 strength 5, number 1 for taxy
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Cool ain't it?
You don't really understand it, right?
This is less than 10% of what i've
learnt during the 3 to 4 weeks of
being in SYFC.
This is radio telephony.
I'm really thankful that i was
accepted to be one of the youths
in SYFC.
It's been a great journey.
Everytime we are having lectures,
we could hear the sounds of
engines that are gradually pumping
fuel.
It's really cool.
And we would gather at the room window
to witness the aircrafts taking off,
and landing too.
Some of my course mates have boarded
their first flights.
I'm just patiently waiting for mine.
I'm gonna work hard to get through
phase 1, and then all the way to PPL course.
MUAHAHA!!! =)

I really feel very sad
and deeply depressed.
I read a source online,
and learned that the
person that i've been
sort of carrying a torch
for, has a crush with
some other guy...
I don't blame her.
I'm just sad because
i'm surprised i don't
even exist to her anymore.
But everyday, every minute,
i feel her presence and her
heart beating.
She still exists to me.
I'm not gonna cry again.
I'm turning 17 this year.
Reaching adult stage.
I gotta put these things
aside for now.
My studies..
My ambition..
I have to settle these first.
I hope my next love, would
appreciate my love,
would always care for me,
would understand me,
and would always be with me,
which would be after i
achieved my dream.
Sigh.. ='(

I had physics extra lesson this morning,
from 0900 to 1000.
Actually, it wasn't even a lesson.
Just to give out our physics test.
Sadly, i failed. I hate the feeling, man.
I got 6 of 25.
It was really badly done.
Most of my classmates got higher,
as though the paper was an easy one.
However, at the sight of my test results,
instead of pulling me down, it brings me up.
I have the motivation to study harder
and do better for the subject that i'm
expected to get good grades.
As the bell rang, everyone stood
with joy as though we had just finished
our A levels. Haha.
After that, me and my classmates sat down
at the cafe to decide on the next
destination.
After much decisions, we went to bukit timah
to have our breakfast at Al-Azhar.
Foods were quite appetizing.
We generally ate similar foods: Roti Prata.
We then went to I.R.C to play pool.
Honestly, i've improved. Haha.
Though my posture looks really 'noob',
my shots were somehow quite accurate.
I really had fun at the I.R.C.
Whenever our shots didn't reach
the destination, we accused one another
of putting a curse.
We soon dominate the whole area. Haha.
2 hours of hitting balls with sticks, we then
headed for Soehendra's house for the
07S29 Winning Eleven Championship.
I lost at the second round. =(
Cuz i was assigned to Germany,
which I thought is a very strong team
but ironically, it isn't.
The players are damn slow ah.
I kept asking them to run in front,
but they just dilly-dallied.
Felt like smacking their faces.
But i'm no sore loser.
I guess i wasn't strong and skilful enough.
Reached home around 1920,
Aimi signing out.

Boycotted went to alvron 2 days ago,
which was a sunday
It's been a few months since we last
jamm'ed at alvron
for a few reasons.
The equipments are inadequate,
amps suck, they do not open on time,
equipments are also faulty and they
do not do anything about it though
we consulted them.
Lastly, the 3 drums do not have
double pedal.
We thought that alvron has changed.
Me and farid arrived there at 12.50
and gosh, they still had not opened.
They're still the same, man.
After we paid, my friends said that
the double pedal is faulty.
When i checked it, the linkage was
broken.
Ali called for the lady who served us
but she didn't do anything about
the goddamn pedal.
Soon after, another lady came into
our room and asked us to change
to another room simply because there
was an 'ang-moh' band who wanted the
room so badly.
Fuck off ah..who cares if they're 'ang-moh'.
But my friends insisted on going to the next
room. It was really a bad day.
However, we still enjoyed jammin.
We screamed, moshed, etc.
But still, the amps still suck like hell.
I prefer yishun or masala.
*My vocal pitch has improved..
Overall, my vocal has improved
and i'm proud of it. Haha..

Hi guys..below is an extraction from a bulletin in my friendster. I've decided to post on it because I have a disapproval of something.

" Guys...realize that the girl holdingonto u..
is PERFECT in her own special way.
The way she laughs..
The way she sleeps..
The way she loves you..
The way she tries to please you...
Always remember that.
She can always get up and walk away,getting someone else who can love hermore.
For all you know,there is someone out there wooing her already,
but she is rejecting,
a maybe perfect love for her..
There might also be someone out there..
who is willing to love her more than you are loving her now,
fufill her every need and love her as much as she loves you.
Understand that.
Imagine this, guys.When you are holding her today...
and then you cheat on her by hugging and kissing another gal.
and then you run back to her...
and u do the same....
but you see love in her eyes...
What do you think?
Do you feel the hurt?
Can you feel the guilt?
She loves you not because you are good looking,
have money,buy her things,make her parents happy,
or that you have a car.
She loves you for who you are.
Your every touch,
every word you say,
everything you do.
Guys, cherish and appreciate your girl.
Don't break her fragile heart.
She is the only one who can love you that way.
You won't wanna regret letting go of that special girl you have.
For everything she has done for you,
the least you can do is to give her unconditional love as she has given to you.
Girls and guys... if you agree withthis,
repost this just so that everyone can read this and appreciate their girls more. "

I truly agree with this bulletin. I did what's right for every girlfriend I have. I had only 2 exs, and for the both of them, i treat them like they are going to be with me forever. I shower them with love. I tried my best not to do anything that will either hurt her or make her drift away from me. But somehow, the opposite happened..at least for one of them. I have a good question to this, WHAT if it was the girl who never appreciate the guy for everything that he has done for her? Who's at fault?

Tired..

I'm just tired of everything right now.
Tired of going out with people who don't even
value friendship.
Why can't they just stop and think for a moment.
You think i'm doing all these for fun?
Think again..
We seldom see each other, agreed..
Then why can't you all just spare some time
for a simple thing to maintain our friendship.
I just don't understand this fucking mind of yours.
When you all organize something, i turned up.
Though that is the busiest day of my life, i turned up.
Though my family is going out on that day, i turned up.
I cherish the friendship.
I've put everything aside for friends,
you know that..
This is what friends are for?
To hell with that..moronic idiots.
You just think for yourselves.
Well, like the saying, comes new ones, throws old ones.
This is what they are doing now.
They don't feel a thing at all.
I will never go out with these people
cuz i'll always be tired..always.
Even if i'm not, i'll make sure i will
make myself tired so that i can't go.

I don't want to listen to people telling me their life or love stories. I want people to listen to what i've got to say. I'm a man of few words but there's just too much to express inside here. I don't know who to talk to. Even if I manage to find a suitable person to talk to, they could just give me advice which has been repeated over and over again by many different people. The name of the secondary school girl, her face, her smile which makes her cute..and she always make herself look dumb. I still can remember most of the things that i adore about her. The question still lingers in my mind, disrupting the flow of the things that i've learnt in school. Sometimes i wanna seek help from her friends but i'm afraid they might be reluctant to help me. I wonder if i'm still in her mind. If i still exist to her. Did she ever think of me? Did she ever recall the times we had? I just love her so much, i can't deny that. BUT WHY IS OUR BOND MOMENTARY!!? I HATE IT!!!

Aargh.. next wednesday..some of the guys in my class will be having a Winning Eleven Tournament. We have carried out the votes. I got Germany. At first thought, i thought Germany is a great and strong team. But just now, I went to my friend's house to play winning eleven and chose Germany. That was the worst team i've ever played. Players are slow though they're on form. Like, what the hell!! How am I gonna win?

Can somebody save me?
My SYFC syllabus is getting tougher.
What i mean is,
there's a lot to learn.
My performance must be
up to the standard..
for every flight, i must get
at least a 5.
Else, i'll be phased out at the end of phase 1.
I can't let that happen.
This is my dream, man.
I must work my way up to PPL course,
which is even worser.
WAIT!!!
I still have my academics in JC.
ARRGHH!!!
What the hell is all these?
The SYFC syllabus will take up
a year of my life.
And JC homeworks are piling up.
Dust is beginning to settle down.
MYE is around the corner,
Promo is slowly approaching me too.
What do I have to do?
I think i'll have to go the beach
alone and admire the prevailing wind,
the sound of birds and the horns of
huge cargo ships.
The sea water whispering into my ears,
giving me motivation to work harder.
Saying that i only have less than 2 years
to obtain a great A level certificate.
To end it, watch the sun sets..
That would be so so great.

I received news from my fellow pal, Ali only a few minutes after I reached home. I was very shocked to hear what he had to say. I do not wish to state the name of the deceased or anyone related to him/her. It was my first time hearing such a thing. I was sad of course. The affected, was really a good friend to us. He had lost one of his family members. I called darryl to ask him along as we were going to visit our friend, but he was already on his way to the indoor stadium so he couldn't come along. It was really sad, i don't how to explain but it's just sad. Most of us would not be able to stand it if one of our family member passes away. Though we always quarrel with our siblings but their absense will make a big difference to our lives. We will become lonely. Ali, Farid and I met up at the lrt station and went to the funeral together. We could hear prayers being sung. The melody was already making us sad. We waited patiently for our friend and he came to us after he was done. We confronted him and chatted. Though he was smiling, i could sense that he was actually feeling depressed in the dark. He then had to help out again and we waited till 10.30 for him. He wanted to introduce us to his family and so he did. We shook hands saying we're really sorry for their loss. I only managed to see the head and hair of the deceased. We then told him words of motivation. We bid farewell to our friend and family and went home. We'll always be there for you. =)

I don't think I can cope with my homework like I used to, when I was in secondary school. DUH!! Of course, the level of education is now higher in JC. I can't slack very much now. There's much to cover. My main concern is Math C. I know almost nothing about A math. I mean, of course i know differentiation, a bit of logarithm. But i just seem to be having difficulties on some parts. Trigo, etc. I have to sleep late at night to do my assignments and wake up early in the morning to go to school. The workload is just too intense for me to handle. Plus, now that i've been selected for YFC, this adds to my workload. My god, i'm gonna be dead soon. White hair will start growing, which i pray really hard i won't get one, and pimples too. If you read this entry, please pray for me that i would succeed in JC. Thanks. Out.

I've been having a hard time. I just miss her and i wanna spend time with her for the last time. I know it's been a long time but that weird feeling still lives in me. She's just..erm..i dunno. Nice? I heard she's moving house. It looks like she's very willing to leave. I'm kinda sad of course. But i just wish someday, she'll let me spend some time with her, chit-chatting..eating together..watch movie..go to the library..play pool.. It would be fun. But question, would she wanna go out with me?

Something happened to me yesterday. Ms Annie from SYFC. There's the sad news and quite good news. Let's start off with the bad news shall we? Well the bad news was, she said I'm at the border line which means, there is a possibility that i may be rejected. Of course i was upset upon hearing that. Is it because of the interview or some personal stuff? Moving on to the 'quite good' news, she asked me if i'm really interested in this course. Obviously it's a YES. She kept pestering me if i'm sure of it. Eventually she said okay. On top of that, she said my orientation will be on the 28 April. I wonder if it was true. Should I wait for the letter or what?

We had PJ amazing race today..me and three of my classmates represented Nobel, which is currently, last position. Our mission is to bring Nobel up the scoreboard. Our mission was nearly accomplised. You wanna know why? During the first 3/4 of the race, we were very spirited. We wanted to get to our destination really quickly and be the first. We were competing with one of the teams from Byron. They were super great. They were smart and well-organized. The other Byron team, which i heard from my friends, cheated during the race. They took the cab, which is not allowed. We thought Vivo City was the last destination. So as soon as we arrived at harbour front station, we chiong towards the last floor of Vivo City where the pool is located. I didn't wanna do it at first but cuz of determination to win, i had to. We ran as fast as we could, exceeding the limitations. I can say, many were pissed off with us. We found out that it wasn't the last station. All our internal and external energy were used up. Then it started to rain. That was where the source of our problem arose. It was raining, and we had to stop what were doing. This clearly gave the others who were behind us the advantage to arrive. I hope you know what I'm trying to say. In the end, all the groups had gathered at the last level. We were demoralised because of that. The teachers and station masters didn't even do anything about it. Furthermore, we were really exhausted due to the thoughtless usage of energy when we ran from harbour front to vivo. We really did a lot of running and patches of blood could be seen on my chest. Now i'm having difficulties in breathing. Everytime I breathe in, my heart aches..it was so painful. Eventually, we got the 5th position out of 17. We were the first Nobel group. Our greatest achievement was, we managed to overtake the Byron, who had been ahead of us for a number of stations.

One more thing, i was so glad that she took part in this race. Seeing her beautiful and sweet face..at least it gave me the motivation to go on. Haha. I kept glancing at her secretly. It was dumb, really. I guess i'll end here. I'm outta here.

I'm just fucking fed-up with everything, esp with my sis. Doesn't she have any manners? She call me, her fucking brother who is obviously older than her, by my name. That's the first issue. Second, she uses my fucking stuff without seeking my approval or permission. I can't bring myself to shout at her at the top of my lungs, wasting my breath, and every word i said enters her right ear and escapes through the left. Lucky i have a blog where i can express what I feel, without the burden of limitation. I don't care, i've tolerated enough. She uses the pc, always, very very damn fucking long..and never give a thought about others. Everytime i return home from school, she's always sitting moronically in front of the monitor doing her stupid, unnecessary, nonsensical stuff. And now, she uses my e-notebook. I just feel like punching her in the face. I don't care, i'm gonna set a password for my e-notebook, since my siblings always take advantage of patience. I'm outta here..