6 Feet Under..

My band, Boycott-eD, has changed our name recently. People may ask why we keep changing our names. Reason is because of our uniqueness. We're not like the rest. Our name will change as we grow to maturity. We used to be boys, and we played songs from bands like Good Charlotte, etc. Now, we've "metalised". Meaning, we're playing something more intense and bizarre. We're starting to play Avenged Sevenfold. In fact, we started playing songs from A7X since last year. That doesn't mean we stop playing Good Charlotte songs. No! Their songs possess the best and meaningful lyrics. I love GC. It's just that we're concentrating more on metal.

During the weekend, i decided to come up with our very own logo. We've had arguments over this matter cuz nobody seems to be approving one another's ideas. I came up with this logo. There's an eye-catching '6' at the top, connected to a huge arrow pointing downwards and in that arrow is a word 'FEET'. Let me interpret it for u. The whole logo means 6 Feet Under.

Moving on.. GCE O level results will be released soon. Some may be crying while some may be hopping joyfully. The point is, we'll be moving on to different directions. I'm afraid there might not be time to meet up and jamm. Some might be busy and some might give excuses bcuz they have brand new friends. I don't want that to happen. We should at least divide our time wisely such that we won't be stressed out easily. Some parents think that by allowing their child to go jamming, it will affect their studies. That is entirely wrong, in my perception. The jamm studio is where they relieve their stress and burden. Of course, frequent jammings is not advised. Anyway, i gotta go. Looking forward to the reunion of 6 FEET UNDER...

sympathy

It's seldom to see people of my race like this. But while i'm in PJC, i met this malay guy, Hairruzaman. I really pity him. Everytime i look at him, sometimes i feel like crying(don't know why). He's in the same class as me: 07S23. He's always alone and isolated. As caring classmates, we tried to get close to him. When he speaks, he won't look up. Haiz.. Dear Hairruzaman, don't worry. You'll be fine with us. =)

dream about you..

I know it's been a few months. I've not talked or even chatted with you on the net. I admit I do miss you. But I guess you don't. Anyway, i knew I gotta get over it. I have to carry on. Somehow, i find it hard to forget about you. I had a dream about you. Yesterday. We were chatting on the net and the connection simply went off. And you called me. Surprisingly, you called. Your voice was as joyful and cheerful as before. I could picture what your expression was. I really miss everything about you. At that time, when our relationship was getting better, i promised to myself that after Aifah, there would nobody in my life. But I broke my own promise. I made a mistake. But you made the right choice. You shouldn't be in a BGR at this point of time. I should have been strong. I wasn't. And now i have to suffer. Sigh..

trip to the beach

unpredicted crush..

There's a lot of pretty girls in my class, 4A..ranging from malays to chinese. But there is this girl, whom i prefer, than the rest. She's really a lady. I mean, soft and soothing voice.. never heard her scream out of anger. If she is angered by something or someone, she wouldn't vent it on anyone. Not to forget, she's sweet, fair, and pretty too.. But damn, she's different from me. She's of a different religion. If i'm not wrong, she's a christian. But it doesn't matter, a crush will always remain a crush. As a matter of fact, i have a crush on her. But i just don't want to go any further. Things might get worse, especially our friendship. Well, i managed to take a pic with her on prom night. That was the only day i could be a playboy, haha..


* This is me and her..
If you want to see her full picture, click this link: http://usera.imagecave.com/Suhaimi/meandpetrina-copy.jpg

lonely..

I have no idea why but frankly, i'm becoming more emotional by the days. I've become vulnerable and sensitive. By saying sensitive, it doesn't mean that i'll cry if someone calls me ugly. What i meant is, films these days are sad ones and whenever i watch em', i'm emotionally affected. I would burst into tears but i won't inhale too deep. Reason, if i inhale too deep as if i have flu, my family would know that i'm crying and that would be embarrassing. So i try damn hard not to make any signs. Alright, let's get to the point. I'm so lonely, man. I accept the fact that people whom i loved(not family) have left me. It was either my fault or theirs but i didn't really mind. I admit that i spend most of the time of my life thinking of her. My friends advised me to just forget her. I told them i will. Why is it that the more i try to forget someone, the more frequent will that particular person appear in my dreams? Even if they appear in my dreams a million times, what will it do? Yes, my feelings for them will grow. But if i approach them, will they give me a chance? Doubts, i have doubts about it. Sigh..i'm emotionally deranged, man. Why can't we be friends? I hope your hatred for me will slowly fade away in time..

"Hope you'll stay the same cause there's nothing bout' you i would change." This quote really means a lot to me. I've been saying this to myself. Hoping that the person whom i really adores would not change. As a matter of fact, she did. Her feelings towards me changed. Let's not go around the bushes. The girl i'm referring to is Wajihah. She's a joyful person, always smiles and never failed to make me smile as well. But as soon as our friendship ends, she just refused to be my friend again.. I used to cherish feelings for her but i'm not sure if she had. But my intentions: I just wanna be her friend. Reason is, it feels great to be her friend. Before i began to develop feelings for her, it was already fun to talk to her as pals, and i just couldn't stop talking to her. I guess i was the cause of the confiscation of her phone( free sms had exceeded ). I seriously felt bad about it, wish i could turn back time. Point is, she's a good friend, really good friend. Unfortunately, it didn't turn out well. It was only for a moment. Now, she refuses to talk to me. Sigh. I've lost one good pal.

just a lil light on the darkness..

It's not what it seems right now. Everything is going to topple and become upside-down. I have no intention to offend anyone but as a muslim myself, i would like to bring upon this matter. It's optional for female muslims to wear the scarf over their heads but most parents would want their children to wear it. Okay, let's get to the point here. They wear the head scarf and they still do those criticized stuff such as sitting at the void deck with the opposite gender hugging, etc. Directly, they are tarnishing the true meaning of Islam. At the same time, there are terror acts going on in this world and Islam's reputation is already been tarnished. Islam does not teach people to use violence and those terrorists try to poison those people with weak religious knowledge. It's already enough for what's happening outside of singapore. But what's going on inside singapore is truly outrageous. Muslims are going out of hands in this country. My point is, i don't want the non-muslims to think the otherwise of us.

Flashback

This flashback is about a 14-year-old girl whom i met her by coincidence at the auditorium during WSI second round last year. I was sitting at the row behind hers and at the same time, she's my friend's sister. I kinda liked her when i saw her. So i wanted to get to know her better. I got part of the help from my friend's sister's friend. I began to talk to the 14-year-old girl. We became friends, and then closer. As love blossoms, i began to feel ultimately happy being with her. A bad incident occured, her handphone was confiscated(often happens) and we lost contact. I tried to get through her but couldn't. So i sought help from her friend and she said that it seemed that i had a lot of chances to meet her but she was avoiding it. She then dropped me an email saying that it's over between us. In that email, she said that i was the cause of the bad relation between she and her friends. I was just seeking help. Where can i get help? Her friends, of course. I assure you that your friends were exaggerating. I did not ask them out of desperation. I just wanted an answer from your own mouth, your own voice. What's so difficult about that? Indeed you wouldn't believe what i said because your friends have been with you longer than i have. But it doesn't matter right now. My mum once told me, don't brag around if the girl that i admire doesn't like you. It's best if i accept her decision and back off. Frankly, i do miss her sometimes. I was so happy talking to her. I've never laughed so hard before until i sms her or chat on the net. It's been weeks or shall i say months, since i last communicated with her. But things happen yeah? Life has to go on, it seems.

An Unexpected Dream

I'm meant to forget about her already. She still won't give me the answers to my unanswered questions. She still hasn't tell me why she did that to me. She just refused to set my mind at ease. So i took the initiative to forget her, struggling.. But, these few days, i dreamt of her. But why now? Why when i'm in the midst of forgetting her? Does that mean that we're bound to be together again or is it just an unexplained theory or mystery? I don't know what it means but i'll just wait for the results.

Prom Night On 27 Nov..

I know four days have passed since the Prom Night. I ought to be posting earlier but i didn't. Prom Night had been a memorable one for me, frankly. Out of the blue, i began to feel sober.
Seeing my friends from 4A especially, seemed as if we're parting. I never wanted that to happen. Their my friends, the best friends..i've realised that losing your friends is far more disastrous than losing your girlfriend. I don't wanna lose them. I almost cried, man.. Somehow i believe that we will continue to keep in touch with one another, perhaps a class reunion every year in WSSS..haha.. That would be great.

Well, on that day, i met up with my malay friends: Ali, Faiz, Farid and Zul. Ibro wasn't with us cuz he went with Johnny. We met at the bus stop near my block, and we took bus 190. We missed our stop and had to walk a long way. Haha.. I felt uneasy cuz as we were walking, people stared at us as though we're MAFIA members..with our coat and blazers, all looking smart. We sort of got lost, and Ali took the initiative to ask a guard. We walked and walked until we saw Albert and Kenny at the entrance. They were waiting for someone. We shaked their hands and proceeded in. Thought it was gonna be open space but turned to be in an air-conditioned room. It's on the second floor but we went to the gents first.





Haha..we took some boyband pics in the toilet.. Insane but it's only once in a while. Then we went up to sign in. 3 ladies from the council would tell us which table serves halal and non-halal foods. In other words, we can sit with whoever we want to as long as we're sitting on the correct tables. We had to wait for an hour or so before the whole event started cuz some hadn't arrived yet.

(TO BE CONTINUED)..

SYFC application...

S.Y.F.C stands for
S'pore Youth Flying Club.
It has always been my dream
to become a pilot either
in RSAF or commercial.
Whatever it is, i'm willing
to fly for my country and
would do whatever it takes
to become one.
You see, I ringed SYFC and
asked for the application form.
I was asked my name and
everything else about my
particulars. I was supposed
to wait for the mail to arrive.
I waited for 2 days..and it
seemed that my dream
would never come true.
Just today, me n my family
went out to buy my
PROM clothes, my sis's
birthday present: MP3,
and my bro's new phone.
I bought some clothes which
are pretty awesome..thanks to
my parents.
Good that my sis has finally gotten
her mp3. Unfortunately, my bro
didn't buy his phone due to
lack of stocks.
It was unexpected..seriously.
When i reached home, i
opened the mailbox and saw
a brown, A4 sized package.
It had my name and address
written on it. My heart was
thumping really fast.
I opened it in the lift in the
presence of my family and
POOF!!!
It was the SYFC application form.
I was too agitated..
But i still have to undergo
several tests incl. medical, etc.
I'm pretty anxious about it.
Please wish me all the best..
I hope i'll be accepted..
God willing.. =)

..end of exam

Today was my last
paper: Dnt
I was quite happy
when we were
dismissed but
it was only
momentarily.
What's going on
with my heart
can't be healed
just with the ending
of exams..
I strongly believe
that as time passes
by, it will be over..
After my O's, i'm
gonna pull horns
outta my head..haha..
No more Mr. nice guy.
Those who mess with me,
will be dealt with..(violence)
Nah..just kidding..
I'm gonna go jamming
this week and next wk.
The whole of december
i am not sure..
Angelo is leaving for Dubai
and Darryl to China.
There'll be class chalet
in december..
I hope my results turn
out to be good..
that's all..i'm out..

it's time i walk away..

I've always loved her..
A..L..W..A..Y..S
It's something
unpredictable..
But in the end it's right.
I hope you had
the time of your life.
The times i spent
with you were the
time of my life..
the happiest, the
most cheerful,
the saddest,
all jumble up into
one emotion:
HAPPINESS..hehe.
sometimes i ask myself
this question:
Why must our relationship
end up this way?
I could at least expect
a 'goodbye'..
but she left stranded
in matter of minutes,
or hours i think..
She should at least
explain to me that she
had to leave me..but
she didn't.
that really escalated
my frustration..
soon i realised that
it was useless getting
angry and dropped it.
But i can't forget you
so easily..I have no idea.
Getting to know you
is like meeting
the fairy of my dreams..
hmm..fairy? No way..
Maybe princess...
Whatever it is, i prayed
to God that this would
last for a very long time..
eternal....
But i was proven wrong.
With you gone and not
being by my side,
i'm stranded just like
a poor man stranded on
an island enclosed with
tall trees and dense
forests...ALONE..
I hope somebody really
rescue me from this island.
Everything that has a
beginning, has an end..
Of course i know that..
but i didn't predict it
would turn out and end
this way...
Anyway, this experience
really taught me a
lesson that is worthwhile.
..it's time i walk away from
you..your life..
this is the very one thing
i despise...but
what to do?..
just like the malay proverb,
" Nasi sudah menjadi bubur."

..Blk 276

Blk 276 is known
for its splendid peace.
I used to dread when
i come to this block
cuz it seems to be
isolated from the
rest in Bangkit..
I got it over with
in a matter of time.
It really sets my mind
at ease whenever i
sit alone at the void
deck around 9 plus
at night..
It IS dark, gives me
the goosebumps..
But if u just sit there
to relieve your stress,
to witness the cool air..
you will definitely forget
about ghosts momentarily.
I've learnt to appreciate
what this blk that i'm
living at have..
HOWEVER...
this place is not for
hanky-pankies..
I know this place
is apt for such things
at night as it's quiet
and there's nobody
else to disturb you.
But i resent it when
i see people kissing
and hugging at the void
deck..
They are trying to destroy
the positive factor
of this block.
Sigh..why can't they just
find some other place
except Bangkit?..

I still...

I Still - Backstreet Boys
I really admire this song.
especially its lyrics..
It resembles most of
the parts of my life.
Upon hearing this song,
it reminds me of u, iha..
I've tried my best..
but the bond between
me n u is just too extremely
strong..
I've been believing...
that after my O levels,
i might succeed..
What is it that makes u
do this to me?
I've realised my mistakes..
(Haiz...)

..my pathetic prelim grades

Here are the results
of my prelim...

English - C5
Malay - A2
Maths - B3
Physics - B3
Chemistry - B3
C.Humanities - C5
Geography - B3
D&T - B3

I know people would
think I'm insane
displaying my grades
when i'm not performing
very well..
Nevertheless, I have no fear
or shame in doing so because
i'll try my very best to
scrap that grades of my cert.

For subjects like maths,
physics and D&T,
I should have gotten
at least an 'A' grade
because i'm quite fond
of those subjects.
Ironically, it turned out
otherwise.
Of course i was vexed
and disappointed too..
With my current grades,
there is certainly nowhere
i can go for the 3-month course.

What i fear the most is
english and chemistry.
We may think english is
an easy subject as we
speak english almost
everyday..
But it is really difficult, man..
After attending some english
courses, I'm more confident
of myself.
Memorisation is required
for chemistry. You have
to memorize numerous
information, facts, etc.
I hope i'm able to get at
least 3/4 of the chemistry
syllabus on the tip of my
fingertips..

One-sided love...fading for good..

Few months have passed..
have tried my best to
get her back but..
no progress...
This one-sided love isn't
worthwhile..
So i've decided to let u go..
I'm sorry, but i just can't
let this matter bring me
down...
Besides, i also know that
you want me to forget
abt u..so that i wun be
able to disturb u anymore.
It's being hard for me
but with the help of
my friends and teachers,
they have convinced me
that studies my first priority
in life..
I've realised that there's no
life without proper, and high
qualifications..
What we've been thru
all along, will just
be my sweet memory..
I'm sure you'll be happy.
So good luck in everything
you do ya?
That's all about it.

you...

Each moment of my life,
i think of her..
never fail...
I just don't know why
i'm so devoted to her.
She's the perfect girl
in my eyes..
I tried to evade that,
but it's a fact.
It's like, she's born to
be loved by people.
It's one hell of a chance
in a lifetime..
Things were working
out very well and it was
a straight, slight bumpy road.
Suddenly, appeared a lot of
high mountains..
i'm not sure whether it's
me or her that did not
manage to climb.
Why must this happen?
There's a thick pane of
glass that acts as a barrier
between me and her now..
All means i've tried to get
myself over to her,
no avail..
and i'm still trying..
i think i made a stupid
mistake back then,
which i have no idea what.
I still need you, girl..
I still care for u..
Do you?
I still love u so much..
really very much..
it's genuine..
Do you?
(..Sigh...)
i just hope to be
together with u again..
i wonder when that
day will arrive..

Arghh!!!!

I've been trying very
hard but it's so
impossible for me to
forget u, wajihah...
Those moments were
too happy for me
to forget...